


Misappropriation of Lives

by MilenaDaniels



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Emotional Abuse, F/M, Implied or Off-stage Rape/Non-con, Imprisonment, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Torture, major violence against a host-less symbiote
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-09
Updated: 2012-11-10
Packaged: 2017-11-18 08:37:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 36,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/558999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MilenaDaniels/pseuds/MilenaDaniels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The past will always find you, especially if you have something it wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in the process of transferring my fics to my AO3 account. This story was originally posted on Fanfiction.net and Livejournal on June 20, 2007 and was completed August 21, 2007.

SG-1 was not sitting down at the head table of the glorious harvest feast of the Carenites as had been on the itinerary. They weren't scarfing down the succulent meats or enjoying the robust wines of Carenit. Instead, they were being pushed down the corridors of Ba'al mothership.

The members of SG-1 had only themselves to blame. It was no secret that the flagship team of the Tau'ri was invited to the feast every year, and they had let their guard down on an allied world. Still, seeing the twenty or so Jaffa surround them with staff weapons on friendly soil had not been a pleasant surprise and they weren't exactly skipping through the halls of the mothership.

Quite frankly, the entire situation was surprising, even for their unstable lives. Ba'al had been quiet for months and they'd been suspicious sure, but they'd been enjoying the well-deserved reprieve. If their impromptu invitation to his ship was anything to go by however, Ba'al hadn't been relaxing on a luxury cruise around Netu getting evil massages and taking his mind off his plans of intergalactic domination for all those months. No, he'd been a busy little snake and now he'd called on them with his usual flare.

"So you guys have no clue why your boss wants to see us?" Cameron tried to engage the Jaffa again but was completely ignored for the umpteenth time. "Not even an inkling?"

They arrived in front of the large golden doors that typically led to the Goa'uld throne rooms. It seems their host wanted a word with them before the torture and/or imprisonment began. Ba'al's Prime Jaffa activated the crystals and the large doors sunk into either side of the frame. They were given a rough shove forward and stumbled into the center of the large hall to see their longtime nemesis smirking comfortably from his throne. The five members of SG-1 looked at each other briefly before the Jaffa pushed them unceremoniously to their knees on the hard floor before their lord.

"Ba'al." Daniel greeted with a bored tone. The false god didn't scare him anymore than the other villains of the galaxy but ever since Vala had tried to convince him that she was just playing the Tau'ri, Daniel couldn't help but want them on different planets at all times. He didn't imagine for a minute that Vala might actually be playing them, but the familiarity Ba'al displayed toward her and the reference to the activities he'd participated in with the Goa'uld that used to inhabit her body were enough to disturb him greatly.

"Ba'al, buddy, what's up? You just disappeared off the face of the…I mean, you don't call, you don't write, we were getting worried." Cam drawled and his glibness was rewarded with a solid backhand from the Jaffa pinning his shoulders down.

The false god rose from his chair and stepped down from the dais to walk along their line.

"Colonel -" he began but frowned. He hadn't taken the time to learn the man's name when he met him.

"Mitchell." Cameron scowled, slightly put-off.

"Ah yes, Col. Mitchell." he mused "In fact I  _have_  missed you Tau'ri. I've been so very bored lately, what with most of the other Goa'uld being hunted down by their own, I've had no one to play with." he lamented before brightening and moving down the line. To Col. Mitchell's left was the shol'va and his lip curled in disgust before moving on and continuing with his speech.

"But, quite luckily" he enthused, "I was recently reunited with an acquaintance I'd been missing for many years and we've been having a fantastic time catching up." he said before frowning slightly "Well, we had our differences but we've reached an understanding." He passed a glowering Col. Carter and leered at her as usual before moving on to Dr. Jackson who stared back menacingly.

"That dear friend though, has been very forlorn for quite some time. You see, another acquaintance of hers has been lost and, quite frankly, she's being insufferable about it. I've therefore taken it upon myself to reunite these two halves of one soul, if you'll permit me to wax poetic." he finished with a smirk, stopping at Vala who glared daggers at him.

Ba'al finally moved away to seat himself back in his throne and sent a guard out to fetch his guest.

"You would have us seek out this friend?" Teal'c's deep voice almost growled out.

"We're not really in the bounty hunting business anymore." Sam quipped with a glare and Ba'al just sat back in his jewel-studded chair, very comfortable with the scene.

"You, my dear Col. Carter, have absolutely nothing to do with anything. Actually, you're all just along for the ride, as it were." he said glancing to the humans and shol'va. Comprehension dawned accompanied by cold tendrils of fear snaking along their every organ and they all tried to resist turning their heads to look at the only person singled out: Vala. She, in turn, resisted the urge to look to them for reassurance and stared defiantly ahead at their captor.

The Jaffa finally returned with a woman in tow. She was stunning and the effect was only highlighted by her natural grace and confidence. She wasn't very tall but her exquisite robes hugged her curves in all the right places. Her long hair was golden and flowed freely down her back in natural waves. Her great green eyes sizzled with barely restrained passion as she walked passed them and up to Ba'al. She stopped in front of his throne and bowed her head in greeting.

"My Lord." they heard her clear voice say softly.

"My dear, your gift, as promised." he said, sweeping his hand towards his prisoners and she looked upon them, one at a time, mimicking Ba'al's actions. Her eyes stilled, just as his had, at the raven haired woman and she smiled enigmatically.

By their reactions, Vala thought she should probably know this woman but she didn't. She struggled to place the woman in her memories but she wasn't even the slightest bit familiar. The stranger approached slowly and crouched down elegantly before her with a gentle smile.

"You do not recognize me?" she asked with pitying eyes.

Vala looked from this woman to Ba'al who was still smirking and saw her teammates watching her from the corner of her eye. The naquadah in her blood was boiling as she detected the presence of a symbiote but she couldn't place it. It could be in the woman, in Ba'al, in the many Jaffa, hell it could even be coming from Sam or Teal'c. She finally looked back at the woman and shook her head sideways.

"No, I don't. Should I?" she said without her usual attitude; the oppressive weight of somber mystery suppressed her instinctive sass.

The woman's eyes were no longer kind, they were malicious. Her dark green pools shimmered with a lust for something Vala didn't understand. The others watched on, puzzled, as Ba'al's friend leaned forward and trailed a delicate finger down the side of Vala's face, studying her every feature. Vala's skin crawled with disgust and she recoiled slightly.

"Oh, don't resist me, not yet." the woman pouted. Her words struck Vala with an aching sense of déjà vu, this same cruel voice haunted her from some place deep within.

_Don't resist me._

The woman noted the reaction with a gleeful leer and leaned in to press her lips against Vala's while the former thief was incapacitated with panic.

"Yes, I think you do remember me, sweet one." she whispered delightedly as she saw the colour drain out of her victim's face. Vala couldn't move, her blood froze in her veins though beads of sweat formed over every expanse of her skin.

_Don't fight me, sweet one._

_Watch them, sweet one._

_They're dead, sweet one, and it's your fault._

"Qetesh." she whispered painfully, her eyes wide and unseeing, lost in the agonizing memories of her forgotten despair.

Daniel fought against the tightening knot of fear in his stomach and tried to reach her but the Jaffa behind him held him in place. The others began to struggle against their guards but more Jaffa had entered the room and were like a mountain, immovable despite their efforts. Qetesh backed away satisfied and Vala was left gulping for air as her lungs refused to work.

"You've aged a bit, sweet one, but that's alright, it's nothing a few cycles in a sarcophagus can't fix." she said serenely as she made her way back to Ba'al's side, leaning against his throne. "We've both missed you very much, sweet one, it will be so very good to have you again." Qetesh said with the pleasant tone of a tea party hostess but the ravenous eyes of a scorned lover.

 


	2. Desperation

**Day Before Capture**

Vala was practically skipping down the halls of the SGC in search of Sam. SG-1 had been granted a week of downtime and she'd barely done anything worth mentioning in all that time. This was her last day of freedom before missions began anew and she intended to use it to its full potential. Daniel was, predictably, buried somewhere under a few dozen tomes in his laboratory, Teal'c was offworld visiting his son, Cameron was unaccounted for and so Vala was now seeking out her good friend Sam. She hadn't been in her lab, her quarters or the gym so the former thief was heading for the stargate operations room on Level 28. She bounded up the staircase and spotted her blonde teammate monitoring the gate's inactivity.

"Sam!" Vala greeted exuberantly and the woman in question turned slightly, offering her a smile.

"Hey Vala. What are you up to?" she asked turning back to the screens of the quiet stargate. Vala shooed the seated technician away and slid into the chair nearest Sam.

"Not much of anything actually. I was wondering if you'd come with me to the city for a girl's day out." she smiled expectantly at the astrophysicist and was dismayed to see the beginnings of an apologetic frown appear on her face. "No, no, don't tell me you have work to do! This is our last day of downtime and I expect you to use it properly." she said sternly.

"So do I, Vala, I just can't go with you today. We'll find a day next downtime okay? I promise." Sam said, turning again to the monitoring system while Vala pouted.

"And what, pray tell, do you figure counts as downtime-worthy activities in your little computers?" Vala challenged and Sam gave her friend her patented 'there's a good reason for it' smile she'd perfected serving with General O'Neill.

"I'm actually waiting for my father to come through." she explained and Vala was slightly taken aback.

"I thought the stargate's existence was absolutely restricted information to the people of your planet? Even to family and friends. But your father knows about it, uses it even?" Vala asked perplexed.

"My father is with the Tok'ra, he joined them about eight years ago when he was very sick and accepted to host Selmak." she elaborated and turned again to the screens, missing the sudden paleness of Vala's face.

"Your father…is a Tok'ra?" Vala didn't know what to think. She'd known that the Tau'ri were allies of the Tok'ra but she'd never imagined they might have a personal connection to them. Memories of Qetesh's removal and the Tok'ra's subsequent demands left her cold and knowing one of  _them_  was due to come through made her yearn for the outdoors.

"Well, that's wonderful." she smiled a bit too brightly. "I'll leave you to it then, family reunion and all. I'll just…be on my way." she said leaving the room. By the time Sam had turned to say goodbye, her friend was already gone.

"Weird." she muttered to herself as the gate suddenly sprung to life.

"Incoming Wormhole." Walter's voice announced in his standard way. Sam forced herself to calm down. This was only the second time she'd see her father since he almost died when Selmak was sick two years ago but that didn't mean she had to start bouncing in her chair with excitement…she'd wait till they were outside the mountain.

"Tok'ra IDC." Walter told her just as she'd expected. "Incoming radio transmission." That wasn't as expected.

"Patch it through." she told the Sgt.

"Yes, ma'am." came his quick reply and not a moment later, the speakers burst to life with a voice that wasn't her father's.

"General Landry of the Tau'ri, are you receiving our transmission?" came the disembodied voice. Sam pressed her receiver.

"This is Lt. Col. Samantha Carter, who is this?" she asked.

"Col. Carter, this is Malek of the Tok'ra." he replied and Sam was shocked to hear from the man they hadn't seen nor heard from in about four years.

"Malek, hi, how are you? We haven't heard from you in so long." she said with wide eyes, forgetting the fact that he couldn't see her.

"I have been unreachable amongst the Goa'uld ranks for quite some time." his voice responded unemotionally.

"Undercover work?" she guessed.

"Precisely."

"For four years? I hope you found what you were looking for." She couldn't imagine what her life would have been like if she still hosted Jolinar and worked undercover like this for the Tok'ra.

"Selmak and Jacob Carter will discuss that with you soon. I have been sent to relay a message from your father. He will not be leaving for Earth today, he will instead arrive in two days with news about recent developments in our operations." came the Tok'ra's cool voice.

"Oh, alright." she said with some disappointment. Even though her father was coming in a few days, it would be a business call, not social. "Thanks for telling me. We'll keep the light on for him."

"Of course." he said with a hint of confusion. "Goodbye, Col. Carter."

"Bye Malek." she said and had Sgt. Harriman cut the communication.

* * *

The following day, Sam stepped into the gear room to hear Daniel and Vala arguing. Their little spats had become the background noise to their lives lately though Sam wondered if the others had noticed that the fighting was consistently getting …nicer.

"But I don't want to go to work now, why couldn't we take a vacation  _this_  week. Did you know there was a festival of sorts in the city starting in a couple of days?" Vala asked petulantly.

"Yes, Vala, it's the carnival, it comes every year around this time." Daniel indulged her and Vala snapped around so quickly she lost the boot she'd been holding.

"You  _knew_?" she demanded with accusing eyes "You deliberately asked the General to give us earlier downtime so you wouldn't have to take me, didn't you?" she glared at him and he sighed deeply.

"Yes, Vala. I not only manipulated the General into agreeing to give us early downtime, I've actually had this particular week on my mind for years. Before I met you, I went to a psychic who told me I would meet a deranged space pirate and to stay away from clowns. My entire universe was conspiring against you." he told her sarcastically and they all tried to suppress their smiles as their newest member huffed, searching for her missing boot.

"So this psychic,  _she's_  the one who's giving me a bad reputation on your planet?" she said darkly and Daniel rolled his eyes at her inability to stick to a topic. "I demand to see her. No! I demand she be brought to me, then hung for slander!"

"We don't hang people for slander, princess." Cam interposed and Vala glared at him.

"Cameron, you're useless! Where's that Southern pride? Wasn't it common thing for you people to hang whomever you wished on any given occasion?" she questioned the Texan, ignorant of the political incorrectness of her comments.

"Yeah…we don't so much do that anymore." he said uncomfortably.

"This will not be a strenuous mission, ValaMalDoran." Teal'c rescued his team leader.

"Yeah, we're not exactly hunting out the last of the Ori soldiers now, we're going to a feast. We're going off-world to stuff our faces and party for a few days." Cameron said and Vala pouted.

"I know that. But there's a perfectly good festival right on your beady little planet! Why go all the way across town when there's a block party downstairs?" she asked, proudly using her newly-learned Earth lingo.

"Because we're the honored guests of the Carenites. SG-1 is invited every year, we can't just not show up. This is a diplomatic relations event more than anything. That's why you might have noticed the reports I left you on proper behaviour for the Carenite culture." he mentioned pointedly and Vala's eyes were wide with innocence as she cocked her head to the side.

"Reports?" she asked lightly and Daniel let his chin fall to his chest in exasperation.

"You didn't read the reports." he confirmed and she looked indignant.

"Darling,  _I_ was on vacation. Seems you're the only one who doesn't know the meaning of that word…which, honestly, disturbs me a bit seeing as how you're supposed to be the linguistic genius." she jabbed at him, pulling her vest on. Daniel took another moment to sigh, idly wondering if his lung capacity might have improved since he met the raven haired woman, before turning the attention on Sam.

"Sam wasn't doing anything leisurely either." he said and Sam gave him a look of betrayal.

"Samantha," Vala defended her friend "at least took the last day to visit with family."

"No she didn't, I saw her yesterday, she was working in her lab." he frowned and they all turned to look at their astrophysicist who shot another dark look to Daniel.

"I was supposed to meet with my dad but Malek radioed us instead. He said my dad and Selmak were held up but would come in a couple of days. I hope we're back by then." she said frowning at the sudden realization that she would be offworld.

"Don't worry, we'll get Walter to radio us when he gets here and then we can make our excuses to the Carenites." Cam said and she nodded her thanks.

"You were here all day yesterday?" Vala asked, hurt that her friend had lied to her, however roundabout it had happened.

"I was. I went looking for you as soon as I got off the radio with Malek but security told me you'd already left." Sam said, apologetic despite her innocence. Vala frowned and suddenly recalled the anxiety the thought of having a Tok'ra on base had caused and her quick escape from the mountain. Oops.

"Well then, all is forgiven!" she said brightly as they made their way to the gateroom "You see, Daniel? You might not have recognized what Sam did just now, let me explain it to you. First, she apologized, I'm sure you must have come across that term once or twice before in your life. Second, and most important, she made an effort! You could learn from her, you know." she admonished him, poking him in the arm for emphasis. Daniel rolled his eyes and captured the enemy finger.

"Learn what exactly?" he asked with a bored tone as the gate started to dial.

"Learn exactly how valuable I am and how lucky you are to know me." she answered with just the slightest hint of ego.

"Things like that can't be learnt, Vala, it's a genetic mutation, I'm sure." he shot back, hiding a smile while she gasped with indignation. She violently retracted her captured finger and curled it around her bicep as she crossed her arms and stewed.

Blissful as the silence was, Sam and Teal'c were giving him reproving looks, subtle though they were. Cameron seemed to be on his side and that just further enforced the idea that he should make it up to her. He sighed again.

"I suppose, if you don't cheat, scam, or insult the Carenites  _or_  their manhood," he started and she peeked one eye at him as the gate burst into life with its blue luster as he repeated himeslf"I suppose, if you remain incident-free during the  _entire_  festival, we could, possibly, go to the carnival this weekend." As predicted, the very tentative proposal had the desired effect of changing her entire demeanor. She smiled wide at him and he had to fight his own back, settling for amused eyes. She didn't seem to mind though as she shot the foot to reach him and gripped his hand tightly in hers, pulling him toward the event horizon.

"Bye General! We'll be back shortly!" she said enthusiastically, all but dragging Daniel to Carenit. "Come on you guys, the faster we leave, the faster we'll return. Isn't that one of your little irrational sayings? Because honestly, in my  _humbled_ opinion, the speed with which we leave has no bearing on the actual time interval we must spend on this little farming planet. Doesn't it all depend on the time at which Sam's father contacts us? And since that's an unpredictable value - " Vala rambled on well into the event horizon and the others followed her and their archeologist through the gate with amusement.

"At least she's not whining anymore." Cam said just before they stepped through to their worst imaginable nightmare.

* * *

Vala was gone, she'd been taken away. The remaining members of SG-1 were sitting in a cell aboard Ba'al's mothership. They'd been sitting there for hours in silence. They'd checked the room for any possible escapes and Sam was still working on finding an inner panel but so far she hadn't discovered anything.

Cameron was worried about Daniel, they all were actually. The man hadn't said a word since Vala had been dragged off with Qetesh and he was sure he wasn't the only one to notice the parallels between this incident and the situation included in SG-1's early mission report that led to Jackson to be included on the team in the first place. The others didn't say anything but both of them would glance worriedly at him every few minutes. Daniel wasn't making any effort to relieve their anxiety about him either, he just sat there, completely quiet, staring into space. He'd fought like hell when they'd taken her but after that it was like his strings had been cut and he'd just fallen.

The heavy footsteps of the Serpent Guards echoed through the halls and they all sat up in anticipation of a visit. Cameron hoped and prayed to god their visitor wouldn't be a glowy-eyed Vala-looking snake. The footsteps grew nearer and he wondered briefly if they'd chosen the Guards' footwear specifically to mount tension in their prisoners. His musings were cut short by the arrival of their host. There was a god somewhere because Ba'al was alone with his guards.

Daniel stood slowly with a menacing gaze but still said nothing.

"Ba'al, where is she?" Cam glowered and they were all disturbed to see the pleasant smirk on his face.

"To whom are you referring, Col. Mitchell?" he asked with false ignorance.

"Vala." Daniel bit out approaching the cell bars. "Where is she?"

Ba'al leaned in closer and smiled sympathetically.

"Oh, well I'm afraid she's dead. But my queen is doing quite splendidly in her new colours, thank you for asking." he relayed cheerfully.

Daniel lunged savagely as far as he could on the other side of the bars and was rewarded with a staff weapon cracking down on his arm. Ba'al smiled deliciously.

"Now, now, Dr. Jackson, you'll get to see her soon enough. Patience is a virtue, you know." he said moving away from the cell.

"Why Vala?" Daniel demanded and Ba'al turned back to him. "Why her? I thought you liked blondes, what was wrong with the that host?" Daniel knew he was asking the snake to pick one innocent woman over another but he didn't care. He didn't know the blonde, he knew Vala. Knowing the blonde was taken as host against her will pained him inside but it didn't crush him and grind his heart into unrecognizable mush.

"You're very right, Dr. Jackson, I do generally prefer blondes." Ba'al said with a leer to Sam before turning back to the man before him "But I'm willing to make an exception in light of her many other attributes and skills. I'm sure you can sympathize with me, Dr. Jackson, you've obviously had a go at her yourself to be so despondent."

Daniel felt the bile rise quickly in his throat and he lunged again, being stopped this time by Teal'c and Sam's arms. Cam approached the bars himself.

"You should know that we're going to bust out of here, grab you and Vala, take  _both_  symbiotes out of your hosts and fry you up real good." he threatened the Goa'uld.

"Col. Mitchell, your enduring enthusiasm makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. But,  _you_  should know, that as soon as my queen is recovered from the blending, she will have access to all the intimate knowledge of your planet and the Tau'ri will be reconquered, as they should have been years ago." he patronized and Cameron felt the blood in his veins freeze up but was careful not to let it show.

"You got a lot of balls for a guy whose ass keeps getting kicked by us puny little humans, time and time again." Cameron said with as much bravado as he could muster.

"Yes, well I think the odds are slightly more in my favour as of late, don't you?" Ba'al smirked, looking pointedly at Daniel who was still being restrained by his friends "I'll be sure to send her over when she awakens. Sleep well." he departed on those pleasantries and Daniel shrugged his teammates off of him to punch the wall. They all winced as they heard the tell-tale crunch of breaking knuckles but Daniel pushed Sam's attention away and slid down the wall to sit on the floor once more.

* * *

Surprisingly, meals had been sent to their cell later in the evening though none of them could stomach more than a few bites. Daniel's went completely untouched despite the supposed wise council from Teal'c that he'd need his strength to defeat this false god. It'd seem like a good idea then, until Daniel wondered which god he was talking about and his nausea returned.

They'd all had some sleep with one of them on watch at all times but nothing had happened. They were left alone in their cell until around noon the next day when they'd been discussing the likelihood of a rescue operation.

"They aren't expecting to hear from us for at least three days." Cameron said.

"True, but as soon as my dad arrives on Earth, they'll try to contact us and they'll know something's wrong." Sam reminded them.

"Even if they discover that we never made it to the harvest feast, they don't know who took us and we're on a moving ship. The likelihood of them finding us is pretty much nil." It was the longest string of words Daniel had offered them so far and it only served as a reminder of the gravity of their situation. They fell into silence once more until the familiar marching footsteps were heard approaching them. The party grew closer to their cell and for the first time in their lives, SG-1 actively wished for Ba'al to show up.

They wished, they prayed, they hoped blindly, and they were disappointed.

The monster in a Vala wrapper strolled up to the bars of their cells. Vala's lips smirked but they knew it wasn't her.

"Hello all." she purred.

Daniel's breathing grew harsh as he heard her. She was using Vala's voice. She was using Vala's voice and moving Vala's hands, turning Vala's face. She had  _no_  right! They were silent in their despair before Teal'c spoke with barely restrained fury.

"Qetesh." he ground out in disgust.

Her lips rose higher into a grin and she ran her finger down one of the vertical bars of the cell.

"Teal'c." she said after a moment of contemplation.

"And Col. Mitchell,  _Cameron_." she stressed mockingly. "Samantha." she said, copying Vala's particular inflections to perfection. Sam's name had never sounded so horrible.

"My Daniel." Vala's voice begged his attention and he wanted so much to turn and have her smile wide and promise this was all just a joke. But he didn't, because Vala wasn't calling him, she was trapped in her own body and he couldn't save her.

"Darling, won't you even look at me?" Qetesh asked sweetly and Cameron thought he might have heard one of Daniel's teeth crack under the strain of his locked jaw.

"What do you want?" Cam spit out getting to his feet and advancing to the door.

"Nothing from you actually." the queen said with the natural voice of the Goa'uld. Finally, Daniel could look at her and he hated what he saw. She looked the same. She was dressed in beautiful robes like the blonde had, made of crimson coloured silk, but she looked the same. That was wrong, wasn't it? There should be some obvious sign that this wasn't the woman he knew.

"Nothing?" Sam echoed with sarcasm.

"As my lord Ba'al told you, Col. Carter, you're all just along for the ride. That ride has come to an end." she turned her attention back to the other woman and delighted in the specks of fear evident in her blue eyes.

"So you're just gonna kill us? Finally be rid of the famous pain in the ass that is SG-1?" Cameron asked and she sneered at him.

"Don't flatter yourself to think we count  _you_  as important as the original members of SG-1, Cameron. But no, I'll not have you killed. We're coming up on a Goa'uld occupied planet. You will be left there, at the chappa'ai, to go wherever you wish." she said and relished in their confusion. Finally, it was the blonde who questioned her.

"Not that I'd rather die, but, why would you just let us go?" Sam asked.

"Because, my dear Samantha, you Tau'ri are much more enlightened on the subject of the Goa'uld than most of the galaxy…you  _know_  that the host survives." Qetesh said simply and Teal'c understood.

"We know that she survives and you would have us return to Earth and live with the knowledge that she suffers." he said and Qetesh smiled.

"Good Jaffa." she mocked him "That is precisely what I want." she smiled sweetly at them.

"You're off your nut if you think we'll ever stop trying to save her." Cameron swore and Qetesh's gaze was unfocussed for a time before she looked at him again.

"She didn't think you'd say that. Obviously your attempts to make her feel like one of the team didn't get through very well." she preyed on their emotions before immobilizing Daniel with a piercing stare "Besides, you've tried to help a host before, haven't you? How did that turn out again?" she cocked her head innocently to the side and rejoiced in the full-body twitch Daniel had developed to restrain his anger.

He approached the bars close enough to capture her full attention but far enough to escape her grip.

"We will find you, we will rip you out of her and you will take a very long time to die." he vowed to the snake in a low voice and hated her so much more when she smiled unconcernedly at him.

"Well, they might" she said gesturing to his teammates "but you'll already be here. You're not leaving with them, darling." she said, using Vala's voice to slice clean through his heart.


	3. Deception

"Forward!"

Ba'al's Prime Jaffa pushed Cameron forcefully down the halls to the transportation rings. They'd been dragged from their cell kicking and screaming, refusing to leave Daniel behind quietly. In the end though, they'd been vastly overpowered and steered doggedly towards the rings. To their mounting unease, Ba'al himself stood waiting for them at their destination. Cam's stomach churned with dark suspicion.

"You were never gonna let us go, were you?" he asked with little surprise. Ba'al's eyebrows rose in mock-innocence before smirking.

"In fact I do plan to release you, Colonel Mitchell. And Col. Carter and…you." he said, glancing at Teal'c with disgust. "I wanted to send Dr. Jackson along with you but I'm afraid my Queen has her heart set on having him."

"What heart?" Teal'c spit out. Ba'al rolled his eyes and held his hands to his chest.

"Oh how your words wound me." he mocked before motioning his guards to herd what was left of SG-1 into the center of the rings.

"Why are you letting us go?" Sam hurried to ask before Ba'al activated the rings. He let his hand drop from the panel and considered his answer.

"Because, my dear Colonel, you are of more use to me alive…at the moment." he said simply.

"How can that be? You know we will use every resource to hunt you and free our friends." Teal'c assured him and Ba'al smirked again.

"You forget,  _shol'va_ , that I lived on your little planet for quite some time. I know how your policy works, what protocols you follow. You'll try to find us, I'm sure, but when your superiors realize that there's no way to locate us, the search efforts will be terminated and you will be forced to resume your primary mission." Ba'al said smugly.

"And that's what you want? You want us to go back to work? Seriously? Qetesh wasn't lying when she said she just wanted us to suffer over this?" Cameron shot incredulously and Ba'al rolled his eyes at the ignorance of the Tau'ri.

"I don't think so, Cam." Sam said quietly "Our primary mission is to eliminate the Ori threat in the galaxy. With the Replicators gone and then the Ori, the Goa'uld would be the only real threat left again."

"And I wonder who's first in line for that throne." Cam spoke sarcastically. Ba'al looked at Sam.

"Impressive, for a female." he said "But you're right. With the System Lords vanquished, the Replicators dealt with and Anubis no longer present, the Ori are the last thing that stand between me and absolute power in this galaxy." Ba'al gloated.

"You forget the Tau'ri, Tok'ra and Jaffa Alliance." Teal'c warned him.

"I forget nothing. The Tok'ra numbers are dwindling and many more of them have crossed the line that you can imagine." Ba'al told his shocked listeners. "The rebel Jaffa are weak and will be dealt with swiftly, they are no match for my Kull warriors. And the Tau'ri, well, while you pool your resources into the extermination of the Ori, my queen will be purging her host of her memories and I'm sure they'll go a long way in helping us wipe you out once and for all. Do try to stay alive until our next meeting, won't you?"

Before they had a chance to object, he activated the crystals and the remaining members of SG-1 disappeared to the planet below.

* * *

"Ooh, are you sad that I've sent your friends away?" an altered voice asked him from the entrance to the cell.

Qetesh.

Daniel had been alone for hours now, contemplating his friends' fate, and her presence only served to rile his discontent. He heard the cell door open and a couple of Jaffa advance towards him.

"Be nice now, sweet Daniel, they only want to tie you up so we can start with the festivities. It's so much more fun when you play nice, I promise." she purred, leaning against the wall.

Daniel noted the staff weapons each Jaffa carried but he wasn't doing anything  _she_  wanted without a fight. He waited until they reached for his arms and he lashed out, striking one guard in the face and knocking him to the ground before kissing the floor himself after the other guard delivered a nasty punch to his back. He couldn't breathe, the wind had been knocked out of him, and the Jaffa took the opportunity to throw him against the wall to sit on the bench, and tie each hand to the medium-length manacles protruding from the wall. Daniel finally managed to draw in a ragged breath as the Jaffa moved away and Qetesh entered the cell.

"That'll be all." she said without turning and the two Jaffas left the vicinity though Daniel was sure they wouldn't be too far.

"Now isn't that better, darling?" she murmured as she strolled up to him languidly.

"Better for whom exactly? And don't call me that." he ordered uselessly, eyes staring resolutely at the wall in a pathetic attempt at achieving some semblance of control over the situation.

"Better for me, Daniel, no one else matters. You should know that." she admonished teasingly and he chuckled mirthlessly.

"I bet Ba'al would say otherwise." he said, trying to ignore the rustling of her clothes as she knelt down beside him. He couldn't look at her.

"I just told you, Daniel, no one else matters. Why then should Ba'al?" she asked curiously and when he didn't answer, she grasped his chin and roughly turned his head to face her. The sight of the despair his eyes upon looking at her made her smile and he seemed to cave into himself even more. She also saw his eyes flit down her body for a split second but she couldn't blame him, she'd picked this outfit deliberately for him. It was much simpler than yesterday's, consisting of a single layer of midnight blue silk wrapped around her body ever so minimally.

"Why are you so distraught over the loss of this woman? She was nothing to you." Qetesh asked him inquisitively and he glared at her.

"She wa-IS my friend and we will get you out of her." he swore and was surprised when she looked euphoric for a moment.

"Oh how she revels in your promise, Daniel. She knows it will never come to pass since I'd kill her well before you had the chance to do anything at all…but, your passion fills her with a warmth she's been missing for oh so many years." Qetesh sing-songed.

"What are you talking about?" Daniel asked, his brows knitting with confusion.

"Were you not aware, darling?" Qetesh asked mockingly.

"Aware of what? And don't call me that." he asked again with a chilling glare. Qetesh didn't seem to be bothered by it. In fact, in a move painfully reminiscent of his first meeting with Vala, she stood up and quite easily slid herself down onto Daniel's lap.

"What the hell are you doing?" he ground out, forcing himself to block out the fact that Vala's half-naked body was pressed against him. It wasn't her.

"Nothing to worry about,  _darling_." she said cooly, trailing a delicate finger over his cheek in a mocking display of tenderness.

"Don't touch me." he barked at her and she giggled.

"You are mine, Daniel Jackson, you might as well get comfortable with it now." she told him smugly and he tried to buck her off him but she held her position. His defiance annoyed her, she needed to teach him the finer points of obedience. She raised her right hand and he stared into the ribbon device. She raised it above his eyes to his forehead and he braced himself for the excruciating pain.

But none came.

He cracked his eyes open just in time to see confusion marring Qetesh's face before it disappeared and she lowered the device with a shaky grin.

"It won't just be a warning next time." she told him and the tiniest flicker of hope he'd held onto grew into a stronger flame. Vala was still in there, she hadn't given up.

"Of course." he answered contemptuously.

She ignored him and removed the ribbon device, replacing it with the healing device she'd kept in her pocket.

"Come darling" she said, motioning him to extend his right arm to her "time to make you all better."

He hesitated but finally moved held his arm straight towards her and she began healing the angry red welt the Jaffa had created two days ago with his staff weapon. Then she clucked her tongue at his swollen and disfigured knuckles and began to heal them as well. She worked in silence until he spoke up.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked lowly.

"You'll have to be a bit more specific, darling." she replied, never taking her eyes off of her work. He bristled at the use of Vala's typical term of endearment but didn't bother to reprimand her for it again.

"Why are you healing me? And why wasn't I allowed to leave with the others? You're gonna pump me for information?" he asked.

"Information is not what I'd like to pump you for, sweet Daniel." Qetesh smirked at him and he glared back.

"So what? I'm being kept to be your sex slave?" he asked incredulously, thinking back to his time with Hathor. Qetesh sighed and lifted the device away as her work was completed. She slipped it off her hand and ran her fingers along his chest with a pout.

"Well that's what  _I_  wanted but my Lord seems to take issue with that. He's quite possessive." she sighed, raking a fingernail over one of his nipple through his shirt and he steeled his body not to shiver at the touch.

"Possessive boyfriends can be a sign of future abuse, you know." he said sardonically and was disheartened to see her shake her head.

"Oh no, he's not possessive of me but of this body. I'm useful to him but he seems to take a perverse pleasure in violating this body. Most of the time, I'm not even present for the activities." she said dejectedly and he sat under her, horror-struck.

"What exactly is that supposed to mean? How could you not be present?" he demanded and she halted her visual exploration of his chest to look at him with uninterested eyes.

"I was under the impression that you were one of the more intelligent people in your world." she sighed exaggeratedly "I  _mean_  that I push the host to the forefront. Ba'al likes  _live_  victims, he likes to hear them scream. When I'm in control, I take the brunt of it and that just won't do for his Lordship." she finished with a whine and Daniel felt his chest implode at the thought of what might be happening to Vala when Qetesh wasn't here harassing him.

Qetesh took in the paleness of his face and looped her arms around his neck.

"There it is." she grinned victoriously "There's that beautiful despair."

He didn't answer her, he was busy trying to get his throat to swallow past his revulsion.

"Why act as if this pains you, darling? She's thrown herself at you for years now and you haven't cared at all. Aren't you glad that she's out of your hair?…well, mostly." she smirked, taking note of her position on him. Daniel looked up at her with incredulous eyes.

"How can you think that? You share her memories, she knows I cared-CARE for her. We all do, she's an integral part of our team." he spat at her and she rolled her eyes.

"Well, as someone who's gotten to know her quite intimately," she started with evil delight "I feel very confident in informing you that there was a vast emptiness within her, a great hole in her that you kept digging at. Everyday it got wider, and wider, and wider. It would have consumed her eventually, so you should thank me." she said playfully.

"Thank you? For making my friend a hostage in her own body? For letting Ba'al torture her?" his eyes flashed angrily up at her.

She toyed with the hairs at the back of his neck and leaned in close to his ear.

"For filling the void that you didn't dare go near."

His stomach plummeted and he was filled with something akin to sorrow as she squirmed against him.

* * *

"We can't seriously be thinking of leaving them there!" Cam yelled as Sam dialed a neutral planet to gate off of the one Ba'al had ringed them down to.

"Where else do you want me to dial, Cam? Did Ba'al happen to leave you with the address to the gate he most likely had onboard?" Sam snapped back. The stress of the past couple of days was wearing on all of their nerves and the thought of actively leaving their friends behind wasn't making it any better.

"We must seek reinforcements and intelligence before mounting a rescue mission, Col.Mitchell." Teal'c said, trying to appease the rising tensions. The Texan sighed.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry. I just-I can't feel right about this." he said as the gate activated. Sam nodded her acceptance of his apology and they stepped towards the gate.

"There's nothing to feel right about, Cam." she said and they crossed the event horizon to the next planet. They watched the stargate deactivate behind them and made their way to the DHD to dial the Alpha Site.

* * *

"SG-1, where have you been? And where are Dr. Jackson and Vala?" General Landry demanded as only three fifths of his flagship team came through the gate over 48 hours after their first missed check-in.

It was never a good sign when his people returned with tense faces and haunted eyes, he wasn't looking forward to the debriefing. At the very least, he could be glad he'd have a daughter to present to their Tok'ra guest, but it was a small piece of optimism in a sea of anxiety.

"Jackson and Vala are on one of Ba'al's motherships." Cameron said with hatred for the Goa'uld.

"And Vala's been taken as host by Qetesh." Sam said as matter-of-factly as she could.

General Landry regarded his soldiers and sighed.

"Is there any way to reach them?" he asked, knowing the answer.

"There is not." Teal'c replied.

General Landry frowned but nodded.

"Then get yourselves checked out, take a shower and meet me in the briefing room in one hour." he ordered them gently.

"Sir, if you don't mind my asking," Sam started on her way out "you didn't seem surprised when I told you about Qetesh."

"Your father arrived yesterday with a lot of disturbing news, Colonel, Qetesh was only a small part of it." General Landry told them and their levels of apprehension escalated. "Go on, we'll discuss it in an hour."

"Yes, sir." his two Colonels replied and the three of them handed their weapons over to the SF's before continuing to the infirmary.

* * *

"I don't know what you're talking about." Daniel said finally, staring resolutely at the wall behind Qetesh.

"Denial won't help you, darling. Besides, it's not like she's ever be able to confront you on the subject, she's as good as dead." she said lightly, using the tone of a best friend trying to convince another to skip class to go see the latest movie.

He looked at her sternly.

"She is not. We  _will_  save her." he promised the snake again. Qetesh huffed and rolled her eyes.

"Must we have this debate endlessly? You can try, sweet Daniel, but you should know that at the first hint of compromise, I will fill her body with great quantities of toxins. She will be dead before you ever reach her." she promised him right back, and he was more inclined to believe her than she seemed to believe him.

"So what? The others are probably dead, I'm supposed to write Vala off and you're going to keep me around to argue about our personal relationship?" Daniel shot back tiredly.

Qetesh leaned back a bit and ran her fingertips over his biceps with a butterfly touch.

"No, darling, I simply felt a strong desire to understand the man who'd managed to wound my favourite host as deeply as I have." she informed him delightedly.

He stared at her astonished. What in the hell was she talking about? Was Qetesh seriously considering them equals in something so heinous? Her fingers had stopped roving over his arms and were back on his chest, moving lower and lower.

"Look, I really don't know what you could possibly be talking about but-"

His sentence was cut short by Qetesh's jerky movement. Her fingers had curled themselves tightly around bunches of his shirt and her body went rigid on top of his. She was silent and her head was bowed nearly to his shoulder.

"Qetesh?" he voiced guardedly.

Upon hearing his voice, her head shot up to face him and he was blown away. Her eyes were terrified and unsure. It was a sight he recognized from the time when her body had held his at gunpoint. Daniel felt as if every molecule of air had been sucked out of the room.

"Daniel?" her voice was normal but shaky, and it begged something of him he'd be glad to give.

"Vala?" he questioned hopefully. Her eyes filled instantly with panicked tears and she threw her arms around his neck, crushing herself to him. He was suddenly able to breathe again and his lungs drew air in heaving, relieved gasps. His arms wound around her lithe body and he thanked his lucky stars that his manacles were long enough to grant him that precious solace.

"God, Vala, are you okay?" he asked into her hair, realizing how stupid the question was but having no other instinct than to never let her go.

She didn't answer. Her body was trembling against his and her knees had tightened almost painfully around his hips but he didn't mind. He rubbed his hands over her back in an attempt to lessen her tremors. He could stay wrapped around her forever but a change of scenery was definitely called for.

"Vala," he called softly, moving one hand up to stroke her long hair "Vala, we need to get out of here. Do you know where the keys to these cuffs are?"

He heard her sniffle softly before feeling her burrow deeper into the nook of his shoulder. He tightened his grip around her but tried to stay level-headed.

"Vala, I'm sorry but we really need to move. We need to get away from here, get back to Earth and remove that bitch from your head." he repeated gently, feeling guilty for asking for her clear lucidity so soon after regaining her freedom.

Her body shook harder against his. Too late did he realize that she wasn't crying, the woman in his arms was laughing.

"Naughty words, sweet Daniel." Qetesh laughed keenly, lifting her head from his shoulder "And why would you want to leave my presence so soon? We haven't even begun our fun."

He stared horrified at the monstrosity before him. Her eyes were clear and she looked positively giddy.

"She was never here, was she?" he asked numbly.

She granted him a pitying look.

"No, darling, she's just not strong enough." she taunted.

Consumed with rage, Daniel twisted his body horribly and managed to chuck her to the floor where she just kept laughing. When she finally quieted down, she slowly got to her feet.

"I think that's enough for today." she said sweetly and Daniel was torn between bliss for his peace and blinding fear for Vala.

"I hope Ba'al dumps you on a Rebel Jaffa-infested planet when he's done with you." It was the only thing he could come up with after such turbulence but she seemed to take offense to it. She sneered at him before smirking caustically.

"I'd love to stay longer, darling, but my Lord will be wanting his daily session with his newly reacquired toy." she informed him sweetly as she left. Daniel felt sick to the core.

* * *

"Dad!" Sam walked over to hug her father before taking a seat beside him in the briefing room. The rest of her team was right on her heels and they took their own seats around the oval table. General Landry was already seated at his usual spot and they didn't waste any time getting the meeting started.

"What happened? You were scheduled to attend a peaceful harvest celebration on Carenit but the Carenites said you never showed up." General Landry began.

"We never got there, sir." Cameron replied "A bunch of Ba'al's Jaffa were waiting for us right past the gate. They surrounded us and took us up to his mothership."

"Ba'al was waiting for us. He said he'd found a long-lost friend. It turned out to be Qetesh in another host. They took her away and reimplanted Vala with Qetesh, we couldn't stop them." Sam said, guilt evident in her voice.

"You're sure Qetesh blended with Vala?" Jacob interrupted.

"She visited our cell yesterday. ValaMalDoran has indeed been taken as host." Teal'c deep voice resonated.

General Landry sighed with anger.

"And what about Dr. Jackson?" he asked a table of clueless faces.

"We don't really know, sir. Ba'al would only say Qetesh wanted him, he wouldn't say what for. He was more interested in unveiling his master plan before ringing us down to a planet with a stargate." Sam said.

"He just let you go?" Jacob asked with surprise.

"Hell he walked us to the door." Cameron said with derision "Apparently, Ba'al wants us to play clean-up crew to the remaining bad guys in the galaxy so he doesn't have any problems crowning himself king."

"He thinks we won't be allowed to pursue rescue efforts for Daniel and Vala for very long." Sam said cautiously, the question in her tone was heard very clearly.

"Without any leads to where they are or where they may be headed, I don't see how we can mount any kind of rescue effort." the General said. He continued quickly at his team's darkening faces.

"I don't like it either but where do you propose we start looking? The galaxy is not a small place. We can keep our ear to the ground and seek out intelligence from our allies but the IOA won't condone anymore active searching than that, not on a lead count of absolute zero." he said sympathetically "Besides, we have slightly more pressing issues."

They all looked up at him with shock. What could be more important than the safe return of their teammates?

"Jacob." General Landry voiced, giving the man the floor.

"The Tok'ra have been severely compromised." Selmak said with hints of a glow in Jacob's eyes "A number of us have been revealed as Goa'uld operatives. They've been with the Tok'ra for centuries but now that our population grows desperately small, more and more have sought the comfort of a winning side."

"The Tok'ra are joining the Dark Side?" Cam shouted incredulously.

" _Some_  of us, not most, but a disturbing number." Selmak replied gravely. "They staged a small rebellion last week and killed many loyal Tok'ra before escaping with precious resources and intelligence. For this, I apologize for the loss of your teammates."

"Why? What does a Tok'ra rebellion have to do with Daniel and Vala being taken?" Sam questioned him. Jacob's eyes glowed and they were once again speaking with Sam's father.

"Because we're the ones responsible for releasing Qetesh." Jacob said in his most apologetic tone. The grieving remains of SG-1 sat speechless with dismay.

 


	4. Deprivation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I should apologize for the time jumps. Sometimes they work, other times they're just...unnecessary. I was young and foolish, I've learned better now!

"Because we're the ones responsible for releasing Qetesh." Jacob said in his most apologetic tone. The remains of SG-1 sat speechless with dismay.

"You let the snake go?" Cam asked incredulously.

"How did you even get her? We were under the impression that Qetesh was dead." Sam asked, her mind racing with horrible possibilities "I mean, obviously she's not unless it's another Goa'uld impersonating her…"

She looked to her father with hope but he shook his head.

"She's the real deal." he said taking a deep breath. "I spoke to the Tok'ra who removed Qetesh from her last host."

"ValaMalDoran." Teal'c interrupted gravely.

"Right, Vala." Jacob corrected himself "Apparently, the symbiote removal process was in its infancy ten years ago and after inciting the rebellion on Qetesh's planet, the top Tok'ra specialists on the program requested they return to the planet to try to fine tune it."

"Fine tune? How?" Cam asked.

"They wanted a live subject." Sam said revolted and they all caught Jacob's wince.

"Okay, not exactly how I would have put it." he defended the Tok'ra even though he took objection with their methods himself. "Look, the way they saw it, Qetesh and her host were going to be tortured as soon as the rebelling people found them and the Tok'ra scientists figured the host would most likely prefer a small chance at freedom then certain persecution at the hand of angry villagers."

The table was quiet as they processed the argument, General Landry had many words but he'd spoken them all yesterday when he'd been informed about this. Jacob continued quickly.

"And besides, it worked; Vala was freed and Qetesh was locked away." he reasoned.

"Why imprison the symbiote? Why did you not dispose of it immediately?" Teal'c asked markedly.

"Yeah, I wondered about that myself." Jacob said "It turns out that we have, rather we  _had_  a small hoard of symbiotes stashed away. They were held aside while we tried to adapt the memory recall technology for the symbiote brain. When Vala refused to provide us with intel, keeping Qetesh became necessary."

"Why would she have refused to cooperate? Especially after you'd freed her from Qetesh?" Sam posed skeptically.

"The way they talk about it you'd think Vala was being an ingrate," Jacob sighed, thinking of how asinine Selmak's people could be "but  _I_  think that she was being pressured into using the memory recall device to dredge up Qetesh's memories when she'd only just been freed. Now I haven't seen any myself, but Selmak remembers his encounters with a few freed hosts; they were traumatized for a really long time. The Tok'ra should have known that no one coming out of that situation would willingly live through it again only days after the fact."

"The Tok'ra are often blinded by ambition." Teal'c accused. Jacob couldn't argue that but Selmak has something to say. Their eyes glowed for a moment, indicating the transfer of control before Selmak addressed them.

"Some of my people might not have seen the wrong in their actions but I would like to apologize on the behalf of the majority who do. Had one of us been present, events would have unfolded much differently." No one spoke but the level of tension that had accumulated in the room seemed to lessen.

"Interestingly, though not surprisingly, a great number of those who saw no fault in the events of Vala's symbiote extraction have been revealed as defectors. It is they who turn to the ways of the Goa'uld now and it is they who have liberated the captive symbiotes. That is how we are responsible for Qetesh's escape and we are very sorry that she has retaken Vala Mal Doran as host and taken Dr. Jackson as prisoner."

"Thanks." Cam offered graciously after a while.

Selmak's head bowed and his eyes glowed signaling the return of control to Jacob.

"So let's start thinking outside the box, people. We need a plan to find our people." General Landry spoke finally. The few members of SG-1 looked at him with surprise.

"I thought you said there was no way we'd be allowed to actively search for them." Cam asked delicately.

"I said there was no way the IOA would allow us to search actively without any leads. Now, we might not have any leads but we're good with ideas. We'll contact our allies, we'll use our ships' sensors but we need more. Your upcoming missions concerning the Ori have been reassigned to other teams so get to work, we aren't leaving our own in the hands of the enemy no matter what the Goa'uld or the IOA say." General Landry ordered.

Cam's lip twitched.

"It sounds like you're dumpin' those two in the same bucket, sir." he said cautiously.

There was an obvious twinkle in the General's eye though his face remained innocently slack.

"Does it?" he replied casually and they all smirked "Alright, get to work, people."

They left the briefing room with renewed hope and enthusiasm.

* * *

"There, I left him alone, satisfied?" Qetesh asked the air as she left Daniel's cell.

_I'll only be satisfied when I see your charred body roasting on a nice fire._

Qetesh sighed. This host hadn't been half as difficult to control the last time she'd inhabited it.

_Yes well, there are things out there tougher than you and I've beat them. It's only a matter of time now._

"I wonder how defiant you would be, sweet one, if I were to eliminate the support." Qetesh asked scornfully.

_You know I'd never let you touch him._

"Listen to me, human,  _I_  am  _your_ master! You do not control me, I control you." Qetesh roared in the empty corridor. "And one afternoon with my Lord will make you understand that."

Vala stayed silent and that suited Qetesh just fine.

"That's alright, sweet one, you really should save your strength for your God, he so does cherish your resistance." she bit sweetly before becoming silent when she reached her Jaffa guards. She walked past them regally and they followed her without question.

Vala wanted to curl up into a ball and weep until the world faded but she really wanted to scream and pound her fists against anything in reach. She couldn't though, she couldn't speak, she couldn't touch, she couldn't move. She was helpless to participate in whatever Qetesh wanted. All she could do was watch as the Goa'uld revealed her deepest secrets and used them against her friends, against Daniel. She interfered when she had to but that sapped a lot of her strength.

As it was, it was taking a lot of effort to hide her feelings of rage and misery from Qetesh but keeping her feelings of defiance and hope was taking most of her concentration. She was determined to shield her thoughts and emotions from the Goa'uld until the right time. She was already berating herself for letting Qetesh know she could influence her actions by stopping her from using the ribbon device on Daniel. She'd never regret saving him but she'd been hoping to keep that little factoid a secret for the time being. The element of surprise would have been useful later.

She took the symbiote's advice now, she conserved her strength because she had only one plan and she'd need every reserve of power she had to make it happen.

* * *

Daniel was fighting the urge to give into his overwhelming hopelessness.

Qetesh had left his cell hours ago and images of what Vala might be going through had tortured him nearly into madness before he forcefully pushed those thoughts away and tried to concentrate on something else…like the accusations Qetesh had lain against him.

" _No, darling, I simply felt a strong desire to understand the man who'd managed to wound my favourite host as deeply as I have."_

He couldn't get over those words. He knew he hadn't always been the most patient or congenial of friends to Vala but to actually rank him near the level of emotional and mental abuse Qetesh had undoubtedly caused? The very idea was ludicrous, wasn't it? He wasn't by any means a saint but he'd never intentionally hurt anyone, especially not his friends, especially not Vala.

She'd come to mean so much to him and for the life of him he had no idea how. It seemed like an eternity had passed since the day she reappeared on their doorstep with the Ancient tablet and bonded herself to him with the Kor Mak bracelets thereby keeping him from Atlantis. That's all she'd been back then, a roadblock on the road to Atlantis. He hadn't seen her at all, hadn't cared, he'd looked past her to the Ancient stores of knowledge Atlantis held.

Then he'd lost her at the Ori beachhead and the emptiness and heartache he'd felt was much more potent than anything the effects of the Kor Mak bracelets were capable of creating. He had returned to his work, determined to defeat the Ori and find a way to reach her, make sure she was alright. He realized how little notice and attention he'd granted her during that time; he had trouble remembering which magazines she liked or the other people she'd met when he shooed her away. But he remembered how keenly he had always been aware of her presence, what it felt like to have her near…and he'd missed that.

Daniel sat back on his bench with a sigh. The more he picked apart the last two years, the more he hated himself. He'd been an ass when she was present, repentant when she was gone and an emotional rollercoaster when they'd found her again, or rather, when she'd found them again.

Maybe if Adria hadn't been in the picture, he might not have reacted like he did. Not that he associated Adria and Vala past the relationship of daughter and mother, there was a clear distinction between what they represented to him. It wasn't even Adria's connection to the Ori that bothered him but her how she was a link between Vala and Tomin. The thought that Adria united them, no matter how uninvolved in her creation Tomin might have been, made Daniel very uneasy.

But that wasn't the half of it, was it? If he was completely honest with himself, he could see that whenever the universe conspired to take her away from him, he pushed her away.

He'd been a jerk every time she'd used elements of her space pirating past to help them because they were a reminder that she had another life she was good at and could return to at anytime. He'd been almost caustic when they came into contact with Adria or Tomin because they were a family she was welcomed to return to and settle down with…evil family but family nonetheless. He hadn't been an ass when her father came to stay on Earth though, maybe because he knew what it was like to not have parents and he sympathized, or maybe because she'd expressed such dislike for him that he didn't pose a threat.

Daniel slumped himself on the bench and let his head fall against the wall behind him. This was great, he'd finally figured out why he acted so horribly with her and she was in no position to celebrate with him.

" _I feel very confident in informing you that there was a vast emptiness within her, a great hole in her that you kept digging at. Everyday it got wider, and wider, and wider."_

He'd played dumb when Qetesh had spoken to him about Vala's feelings but he was far from ignorant.

Holding her in his arms after the weeks of agonizing separation when Athena had kidnapped her from their 'non-date' had released a flood of emotions in him that hit him like a Mack truck…much like Vala's mere presence.

He vividly remembered the feel of her pressed again him, probably because he'd replayed the scene thousands of time in his head since. He could recall how confused and scared she had been and how relieved and overjoyed he had been to just be able to touch her again after fearing the worst for so long. And, of course, he now remembered what happened after the hug and after she'd gotten her memories back…he'd pushed her away with twice the callousness when they tried to rescue their people on the  _Odyssey_.

Why had he been an ass then? He knew the answer to that one as well. It was because Vala had taken them to meet the man who'd essentially saved her when she'd lost her memories: Sol, the diner owner. He'd been a cheerful man and he and Vala got along together famously. She'd built a life alongside this man without a clue of who she was or where she came from in the span of six weeks. It was another testament to her resilience and he'd been so proud of her but it was another unwelcome reminder of how little she needed him.

God damn but he was a jackass, to her at least.

He wanted to tell her he was sorry. He wanted to talk to her, he wanted to kiss her, he wanted to hold her and never let her go, not for anything or anyone. And now that he'd figured that all out, he couldn't.

* * *

**The Next Day**

Sam knocked on General Landry's door.

"Come in, Colonel." he replied.

"Sir, my father and I have run through some calculations and we think we can boost our ships' scanning range by 22." Sam said, handing him the report.

"Good work, Colonel." he said as he flipped through the pages of calculations. "You can see to the modifications yourself if you'd like."

"Yes, sir, I would." Sam nodded.

"And how are-"

The General's question was cut off by Sgt. Harriman's base-wide warning.

"UNSCHEDULED OFF-WORLD ACTIVITY!"

Both Sam and General Landry reached the control room just in time to see the iris slide shut. Jacob, Teal'c and Cameron showed up moments later.

"What's going on?" Cam asked and Sam shrugged.

"Alpha Site's IDC just came through, sir." Walter informed the General. "They say they're sending Dr. Jackson through."

"Open the iris, Sgt." he ordered as they all went for the stairs.

"Yes, sir."

They watched as the metal retracted into the sides of the stargate and kept their eyes on the event horizon for incoming travelers. A few moments later, a very familiar figured stepped through the blue pool and they all rushed to greet him.

"Daniel!" Sam said, hugging her friend.

He looked grim and his normally clear blue eyes were darkened by anxiety but he didn't seem harmed.

"Jackson, you alright? What happened?" Cameron said when Sam stepped back.

Daniel looked around in confusion, he was still trying to piece together his escape, he wasn't sure what to tell them. Actually he knew exactly how he escaped, it just killed him to think about it.

"Vala got me out." he told Cameron.

"She's no longer a host? Where is she?" General Landry questioned him and Daniel was startled by his voice, he hadn't noticed the crowd.

"No, she's still a host. And she's still on Ba'al's mothership." he told them quietly, going over the rushed scenes in his mind.

"How then could ValaMalDoran have aided you in escaping the ha'tak?" Teal'c asked him.

Daniel was silent for a moment before looking up at their concerned faces with anguished eyes.

"She fought."

* * *

**\--An hour ago on Ba'al's mothership--**

_Don't you dare touch a hair on his head!_

Qetesh's host was begging for the other human's life but she wasn't listening.

"You should of thought of your sweet Daniel before you disgraced me before our Lord." Qetesh snarled.

Qetesh and Ba'al had ensconced themselves in his chambers for a round of fun when she had suddenly lost control over the body and her host had used her Goa'uld enhanced strength to knock Ba'al unconscious. Qetesh had regained control over her twice-stolen body, thrown on a robe and decided to put an end to this insolence before her Lord regained consciousness.

She stormed through the halls of the ha'tak alone to reach Daniel's cell. Her guards had been dismissed when she'd entered Ba'al's chambers and she hadn't taken the time to call on them again. No matter, it didn't take a Jaffa to kill a human. The ribbon device was back on her left hand and it itched to be activated in the presence of her overwhelming rage.

_You will not hurt him!_

"Try and stop me, sweet one, just try." Qetesh sneered coldly as she reached her prisoner.

* * *

**\--Still an hour ago, Daniel's cell--**

Daniel had adjourned his deep thinking from yesterday and had begun planning possible escapes. When every idea on his list turned out to be impossible, he'd given in to sleep. He had hoped to dream of better times but his unconscious mind had been barren. He had awoken that morning when a guard brought him breakfast and he'd since been thinking of how things would be different when Vala was freed.

He was off in another such fantasy when his cell door opened suddenly. He opened his eyes to see Qetesh rushing in with a look of fury on her face. Oh this couldn't be good.

"What do you want?" he asked menacingly.

"Your death, darling, that's all." she gave him a sugary-sweet smile and lifted the active ribbon device to his forehead.

His last hope was that he might see Vala again like he'd seen Sha're before he died.

But like yesterday, nothing happened.

Qetesh looked bewildered, and with good reason. Vala shed her mental barriers and used her every bit of her strength to take over. Qetesh looked on helplessly as her right hand ripped the ribbon device off its partner and chucked it across the cell. Then the hand lifted to her neck for the key to Daniel's manacles.

"You can't hold this concentration forever!" Daniel heard Qetesh growl and understood what was going on.

"You can't control her, can you?" he taunted her joyfully and she turned her glare onto him as her body betrayed her. He took the key from Vala's open hand and unlocked his cuffs, he then stood up and checked the hallway for any guards.

"Come on, there's no one out here." he beckoned her.

"She cannot control this body to its full capabilities, she doesn't have the strength." she spat at him, frozen on the spot like a statue. He walked back to her with confidence.

"Vala has a hell of a lot more strength and determination than you can imagine." he assured the snake. Her eyes glowed brightly for a moment and Daniel was afraid Vala had lost control but her face was stone as she reached for his hand.

"Vala?" he questioned hopefully but received no answer.

She closed her fingers around his and pulled him out of the cell. Maybe Qetesh had been right, Vala could only command certain parts of herself at a time. Well he was definitely willing to compromise; she would return to Earth with him and they'd get that damn snake out of her and then she'd have possession of her every faculty again.

They walked quickly through the corridors, Daniel's eyes and ears staying alert for any Jaffa, and finally reached the set of rings. Daniel sped eagerly towards it but was yanked back as Vala stopped in her tracks without warning.

"Vala, what's wrong?" he asked, glancing around quickly for any signs of the enemy. Her face scrunched up and she gasped horribly for a few moments before calming. Her hand tightened painfully around his but he didn't let go.

"Vala?"

"We're in orbit around Nemer, it's an under-developed planet. There are some Jaffa but the gate shouldn't be guarded, they're raiding the village." her normally smoky voice told him haltingly and he beamed elatedly.

"Vala." he breathed, raising a hand up to her cheek. His heart thumped wildly as she leaned into it with closed eyes.

"Go." she said, her eyes springing open. She left him to activate the rings' crystal controls.

"What do you mean 'go'? You're coming with me." His tone was solid and left no room for argument. "She can take control again, I don't care, I'll knock her out and carry you back to Earth."

With her back still turned to him, she remained silent. She wanted to accompany him but beating Qetesh back was taking a lot out of her and she felt it could be only seconds before the Goa'uld took over again.

"Vala, did you hear me? I'm not leaving you on this ship. We both go or we both stay." he promised her sincerely as he approached her. She'd finished tinkering with the crystals and was now facing the wall with tightly closed eyes. He pulled on her shoulder to turn her around and saw her twitch. Qetesh was demanding obedience.

"Daniel," Vala said softly, looking up at him with urgent eyes "in case I don't get another chance…" She reached up and took his lips with hers and all rational thought left him. She reached up to hold him to her and he pulled her tightly against him in response, ravaging her mouth with all the passion he'd accumulated unconsciously over the last couple of years. She moaned with pleasure at the heat between them and he was jolted back into awareness. He broke the kiss with a smile, leaning his forehead against hers as they both tried to catch their breath.

"We have to go." he said and she nodded. They went to the panel to activate the short-length timer and turned to take their position within the rings. Before they reached it though, Vala's body lurched and stiffened.

"Vala?" Daniel voiced edgily.

Her wide eyes stare at him with fear. He reached for her arm to pull her into the center of the rings but her eyes turned furious and she punched him. He stumbled back and she followed him. Her expression was changing like a flickering lightbulb; Vala's face was fearful and Qetesh's was infuriated. Qetesh reached him in a few steps but Vala won back control for the last few critical seconds. She placed her hands on his chest and shoved him back roughly. He fell to the ground, confusion marring his face and her eyes lost their warmth again.

"NO!" Qetesh's voice thundered.

Daniel remained completely bewildered on the floor until the panels around him lit up and he was surrounded by the ships' rings.

"No, Vala!" he screamed helplessly as he was quickly delivered to the planet's surface, alone.

 


	5. Departing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Notes from the original posting: "I remember very little of the Skaara/Klorel situation so I'm sorry if I got things wrong! That goes for the episode Critical Mass and its events too."

Daniel was incensed as he walked back to his office. The goddamned IOA was throwing away every plan he had. Granted, his ideas consisted mostly of visiting every world they'd ever encountered where either Ba'al or Qetesh had been mentioned, even in passing, but this felt like a personal attack against him, against Vala.

"Daniel! Hold up!"

Daniel sighed inwardly but stopped to wait for Jack. The man had arrived eight days ago, just after Jacob had left, after the debriefing. That whole meeting was still a fuzzy for him, he'd been preoccupied with trying to put some kind of order to the memories of Vala's fight with Qetesh.

_**\--8 Days Ago--** _

"Dr. Jackson, thank you for coming so quickly." General Landry said as Daniel took his seat beside Sam. It was a ridiculous platitude, but it was the General's only way of apologizing for forcing him to relive the scenes that haunted him like a skipping DVD.

The feel of Vala's lips, desperate against his…seeing her distressed face as she fought the symbiote…her hands pushing him…the realization that she'd used her last bit of strength to get him to safety…the overwhelming sorrow of realizing he was alone on the planet… Over and over those images and emotions played in his mind, tattooing themselves permanently on his soul to the point where he could say with complete confidence that he would feel the echoes of this pain until his death, even if they found her again.

"Daniel?" Sam prodded him and he realized that the meeting had begun but he hadn't registered a single word of any exchange.

"I'm sorry, what?" he asked softly.

"I was asking you to explain how you escaped Ba'al's mothership." the General repeated himself with a hint of sympathy for his inattention.

"Right, sorry, I was – um – sorry." he returned and the General waved off his apology. He took a breath and stared at the table as he tried to formulate a report from his jumbled thoughts.

"Vala…fought Qetesh for control of her body. Um, she stopped Qetesh from killing me with the ribbon device and gave me the key to unlock myself from my chains." he started.

"Hosts can regain control?" Woolsey interrupted with fascination and Daniel noticed for the first time that the IOA representative was present in the room and actually sitting right across from him.

"Not well and not for long." Sam replied "We noticed it when Skaara was taken to be Klorel's host, he seemed to influence Klorel's decision not to kill us but he couldn't actively take control of his body."

"ValaMalDoran is extremely strong." Teal'c added, confident that Daniel spoke the truth. Daniel looked at him with a semi-dazed expression and managed to convey his thanks without a word. Teal'c inclined his head softly.

"Please continue, Doctor." General Landry said and Daniel nodded.

"Um, yeah, I unlocked myself and checked the hallway but there weren't any guards. I told her to come but Qetesh still had most of the control then. She yelled at me for a bit but then she got quiet, I'm pretty sure that was when Vala got the upper hand. She led me to the rings and that's when she'd conquered Qetesh enough to speak." Daniel swallowed heavily as he recalled how sweet her voice had sounded and the relief that had swept over him as he actually connected with her for the first time in days. He looked up and saw their expectant faces peering at him.

"Oh, uh," he stalled, forgetting what he'd been saying.

"She was talkin'?" Cam supplied.

"Right, yes, she told me we were in orbit around a planet called Nemer, that the Jaffas were raiding a village and the gate would be free." he said in his usual fast pace. He thought ahead to what happened next and froze up. She'd kissed him, he'd kissed her back. He could still feel her warmth lingering where he'd pressed against her, he could still taste her on his lips.

"Then, she um…she set the crystals and that's when Qetesh started to win back control. I tried to get her into the rings with me to bring her back no matter who was had power over her body but Qetesh won for an instant and knocked me away. Vala took over for a few seconds but she…pushed me away too. I didn't understand why until the rings…um, activated around me just as Qetesh took back control for good."

They were all silent as they processed Vala's final act. Daniel waved his hand anxiously to continue.

"I dialed out to a neutral planet, Malen, then dialed the Alpha Site and they sent me back here." he finished hurriedly.

"So it's possible then that Ms. Mal Doran could regain full control sometime in the future and simply return of her own free will." Woolsey noted and they all shook their heads though Daniel answered.

"Just those few minutes took everything she had, I doubt if she'll be able to do it again anytime soon….And it's likely that Qetesh will…punish her for this and she may never regain the strength to attempt another battle for dominance." Daniel spoke tonelessly.

"And Vala'd never come back with a snake in her head." Cam attested "She'd do everything to contact us but she'd never compromise us like that."

Daniel nodded his agreement numbly.

"I don't understand, isn't the host essentially suppressed? How can she be punished?" Woolsey asked skeptically.

"They're suppressed but they experience everything the symbiote puts them through. They see everything and are helpless to act." Sam said, recalling her frightful experience with a  _good_  symbiote. She feared the state they'd find Vala in, if they ever found her.

"I see." Mr. Woolsey said "Well the IOA appreciates your situation and we're very sorry for the loss of your teammate but I'm afraid we can't appropriate any funds to search for her without any concrete idea of where she could be. It's just not feasible." he said sympathetically.

"You still feel this way despite the vast knowledge ValaMalDoran possesses concerning the Tau'ri?" Teal'c asked. Woolsey nodded.

"We've taken all possible security precautions, the codes have all been changed and she wasn't with you long enough or held high enough a position to know anything of real value otherwise. I'm really very sorry for your loss." he apologized again.

"Vala is  _not_  lost yet." Daniel said gravely before getting up and leaving the room.

_**\--Present--** _

Jack called out to him again and he sighed. His friend had been both a godsend and a nuisance since his arrival. When he'd shown up after the debriefing, he'd taken one look at Daniel and had directed him to Sam's house where the rest of the team met up with them soon after, arms laden with alcohol. He'd gotten drunk off his ass that night and the next morning, despite a painful hangover, the grief that had coated his mind had been pushed back to allow his stark determination and drive to dominate. He'd been working on finding Vala every single moment since that morning…eight days ago now.

"What, Jack?" Daniels asked tiredly. His older friend jogged up to him and he resumed his walk to his office.

"What were you thinking going in there with that? You knew they'd shoot you down, just like every other time." Jack admonished him and the fatigued frustration Daniel had felt turned quickly into ire against his friend.

"What was I doing? I was  _trying_  to find a way to find Vala! Something you all seem to have forgotten! For god's sake, it's only been a week and you've all already written her off!" he yelled in the hallway. A few airmen passed by but they had been warned about the recent volatility of the doctor's moods and wisely stayed quiet.

Jack took a look around before grabbing his arm and leading him to his office. Daniel shrugged him off and stalked ahead. He opened his office door with force but kept it from bouncing back and closing, Jack followed him in.

"Alright, first of all, nobody's forgotten about Vala." Jack said, Daniel snorted.

"You could've fooled me. Cam and Teal'c have been temporarily reassigned to other teams, Sam's working on god knows what and every single one of my ideas is being rejected." he shot back.

"Okay look," Jack said, trying to stay patient "Teal'c and Mitchell are on other teams that have been conveniently scheduled on missions to planets with known Jaffa Rebels that used to work for Ba'al, Carter is working on expanding the sensors of our ships  _and_ , might I add that she's barely slept a wink since you came back. First with finding Nemer's address from Malen's DHD and then leading a team to trace the mothership's emissions from orbit?"

"Yeah, great lot of good that did, they jumped into hyperspace, they were untraceable." Daniel griped before sighing.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly "I know I'm being an ass, I just – I can't help but think of what she must be going through and although the IOA is obviously  _so_  concerned, I can't help but feel everything is against me." He was silent then but his face was burdened with misery.

"I just – I need to find her, Jack." he said and in a rare moment of sincerity, Jack actually responded without allusions to desserts.

"Daniel, we will find her, even if we have to hijack a tel-tak from Area 51, escape Earth using its cloak and head to the nearest planet to use their stargate to travel, leaving a timed recording to let our guys know where they can pick up the ship." Jack promised his friend.

Daniel frowned in suspicion.

"That's pretty elaborate pep-talk…" he mused.

"Is it?" Jack asked innocently before continuing flippantly "It was just a thought."

With a discrete look to the audio-lacking camera in the corner, Jack left his office.

* * *

"Which one, which one." Qetesh sing-songed from her throne.

Since her host had taken momentary control and released her prisoner, Ba'al had been less than warm toward her. He been able to piece together her violence towards him and the Tau'ri's escape and knew her host was to blame. There had never been much warmth between the two independent Goa'ulds but Ba'al had cut her out of all planning and his Prime Jaffa had never left her side. It was infinitely unlikely for the host to regain control again but his confidence in her had been compromised and he wouldn't trust her with his precious plans for galactic domination. If her host wasn't so valuable, he would no doubt have insisted she switch bodies despite the tremendous energy it required.

This was the only real revenge she could exact on the disgusting human whose body she'd stolen…twice. She _could_  send waves of pain through it and cripple her with agony but then she herself would be incapacitated and would need extensive sessions in a sarcophagus to recuperate. Besides, this solved two of her problems at once: getting control of the people they'd just conquered  _and_  viciously ripping apart her host's heart and mind. She'd been torturing people all week but her host's mind was still strong, she needed absolute certainty of domination if she was ever going to get into Ba'al's good graces again.

"Which one?" she asked again.

_You'll kill them all anyway, like all the other villagers you've kidnapped, I won't choose your next victim._

The family cowering before her consisted of a father, a mother and two small boys. The younger boy looked to be around four years old and he and his mother were crying silent tears while the others, the boy of about ten and the father, tried to glare defiantly at their captors.

"No, sweet one, I'm not asking you to pick which one will die, I'm asking which you'd like to see die  _quickly_?" she asked perkily.

Her words caused the mother to cry harder instantly, inciting the small boy's sobs to increase as well.

_You're sick. I won't play your games!_

"Then they'll all be tortured, and revived, and tortured again. Won't that be fun?" she asked carelessly.

The mother's anguish grew louder and Qetesh was getting irritated. With a flick of her wrist, Ba'al's Prime had shot the woman in the back. She gave a horrible cry and slumped over her weeping son, dead. The father moved to protect his two children but was viciously brought to his knees with a staff weapon blast to his side.

Vala recoiled within herself with revulsion but didn't bother speaking out. It's exactly what Qetesh wanted and she wouldn't give her the satisfaction, she couldn't save these people no matter what she said.

"The time passes, sweet one. I  _could_  revive the parents and torture  _them_ , or I could just save myself the trouble and have my fun with the children instead." she crooned softly. "The parents will be beyond revival soon, will you choose the children to be my playthings with your silence?"

Vala stayed quiet. It was destroying her to see the young boys crying with howling sobs, pushing at their parents' bodies, begging them to wake up. She wouldn't, she couldn't...

"Tell me, sweet one, tell me to kill the children or they'll suffer more than you've ever thought possible." Qetesh whispered delightedly "Oh won't you be merciful? Let them die peacefully."

Her host stayed quiet, refusing to give in.

"Very well then, know that all that follows is your fault. Every time these children scream with suffering, you have chosen this path for them,  _you_  are the reason they will be hurt." she told her host lowly before turning to her Jaffa "Take them to my chambers for later."

The Jaffa pulled the small boys roughly away from their dead parents and dragged them screaming from the room. Vala knew personally how sincere Qetesh was in her intentions, she knew those boys were being dragged away to be tie up and ripped to shreds. She couldn't let that happen.

_Wait! Please don't, don't hurt them._

Qetesh raised her hands to halt her Jaffa.

"Did you have something to say, sweet one?" she said, shivering with pleasure when her host's defeat passed through her.

_Don't hurt them._

Qetesh tsked. "That's not what I want to hear and you know it. Say the words or they will be sent to my rooms and torn piece by piece for days." she threatened.

She listened intently but her host stayed quiet. She moved her raised hand and the Jaffa continued on their way out.

_Kill them._

Again Qetesh paused her guards and smiled deliciously.

"What was that, sweet one?" she asked cruelly.

_You heard me, kill them, kill the boys._

"Say please." she ordered and could feel her host seething with despair.

_Please kill them._

"I'm so glad you could see things clearly, sweet one," she soothed before turning her voice hard "but next time don't take so long."

She flicked her hand and the Jaffa dragged the newly orphaned children to Qetesh's room. The echoes of their screams bounced through the halls of the ha'tak for days and she could finally feel her host's soul shattering with every broken bone and drop of blood.

* * *

A knock at Daniel's door dragged him from his research on Ba'al a few hours after Jack had left. He focused his eyes on the people at the doorway and saw most of his team entering his office.

"Guys." he greeted as Teal'c, Cameron and Jack filed in.

"Hey, we're going for supper, you comin'?" Cameron asked.

Daniel glanced at Jack, his vague allusions to a conspiracy to help Vala had haunted him all day and he didn't know if this was an attempt to feed him or a way to get him off-base without arousing suspicion. He sighed, either way he did need to eat so he might as well go. He hated the idea of his friends getting in serious trouble if that was what they were up to but he wouldn't leave Vala in harm's way any longer than absolutely necessary…and that deadline had passed eight days ago.

"Let's go." he said and the guys made their way to the lifts.

The elevator doors opened and a surprised Sam greeted them from the cabin, still in her uniform. They got in and rode the elevator down with her instead of rising to the surface, Sam was headed to the control room.

"Aren't you supposed to be leaving, Carter?" Jack asked.

"Yes sir, but I was stopped at the last checkpoint. My dad came back and apparently he's got good news." Sam said with a hopeful smile.

"Well let's go see the man." Cameron said as the doors chimed and opened. Daniel's stomach was clenched with fear despite the arguably good news, he'd recently begun to take after Jack's general distaste concerning the Tok'ra.

Jacob was waiting for them as they entered the briefing room and they immediately took their places to hear the developments.

"What's up, Jacob?" Jack greeted.

"Jack, good to see you." the older man replied with a tolerant smile.

"Sam said you had news?" Daniel interrupted, anxious to get answers.

"Ah, yes, I do." Jacob replied "I've recently been made aware of a double-agency among the Tok'ra defectors."

"What exactly does that mean?" Cameron asked and Jacob responded.

"Basically, there were true Tok'ra among the defecting Tok'ra posing as traitors to feed us intel about their plans." he answered as clearly as he could.

"They have betrayed their loyalties three times?" Teal'c posed.

"Technically no since they didn't betray us the first time. A select few knew of the uprising before it happened and several agents were ordered to play along on the defectors' side to gain their trust and send us info." Jacob tried to clarify.

"So what does that have to do with Vala?" Daniel cut in impatiently.

"We received our first batch of intelligence from our undercover agents yesterday. The renegades are trying to prove their allegiance to the highest power of the galaxy." Jacob continued.

"And that's Ba'al now right?" Jack asked. Jacob nodded and relinquished control to Selmak.

"In pledging their allegiance, they plan to bring him offerings of Tok'ra technology." he explained.

"And?" Daniel cut in again, a tad bit rudely perhaps but he wasn't interested in suspense at the moment.

"And," Selmak continued understandingly "they will do that in person. We know where Ba'al will be in two days."

The table was silenced with shock and wide grins appeared on each of their faces. The other members of SG-1 looked at each other meaningfully, they'd been willing to cross some big lines to save Vala but they were really glad they wouldn't be forced to.

"You're sure?" Daniel demanded hopefully.

"We are, Dr. Jackson, Ba'al will be on this planet, Jris, in two days time." Selmak reassured him, slipping a piece of paper that held a stargate address across the table to him.

"Thank you." he breathed, reverently holding the paper in his hands. Jack regarded Selmak suspiciously.

"And you're just giving us this info for free?" he asked bluntly. Jacob was given back the reigns and that wasn't a good sign.

"Okay, here's the thing, I'm authorized to give you any details about the planet you'll need to go get her." he began.

"Where's that conjunction we all know and hate?" Jack asked sardonically and Jacob sighed.

"But." he conceded.

"There it is!" Jack exclaimed with fake cheer.

"But, the Tok'ra refuse to extract Qetesh unless you can guarantee Vala will cooperate with the memory recall device." Jacob finally confessed with a wince, he really hated his adopted people sometimes.

The table was quiet with shock and Cameron looked sideways at Daniel, contemplating shifting his chair away from the archeologist in anticipation of the blowout.

"What?" Daniel demanded with a barely controlled fury. He couldn't possibly have heard right. "Are you actually suggesting that the only way you will consider freeing a woman who is being tortured in her own body as we speak is by having us guarantee that we will put her through that same torture while you watch and take notes?"

"Isn't that exactly the situation the remaining loyal Tok'ra were ashamed of pushing the first time you saved Vala?" Sam added quickly with confusion, not wanting to believe her father was actually agreeing with this proposition.

"It is." Jacob confessed "But things have changed, these are  _our_  people who have crossed the line and we need to know what they'll be up to. We're responsible for them and we can't have them roaming free, killing and raiding as they see fit."

"No, instead you'll sleep peacefully at night knowing you've cruelly tortured an innocent woman who's been put through this crap twice now." Daniel ground out.

Jacob raised his hands in a manner he hoped was calming.

"Listen, that's the message the Tok'ra High Council wanted me to relay…now, all I have to add is that wasn't there an incident of a Goa'uld taking a host in the Pegasus Galaxy?" he asked in none-too-subtly.

"Yes…Colonel Caldwell." Sam said in confusion "The Goa'uld took him as host on Earth and traveled to the Pegasus Galaxy by assuming his identity and mannerisms. McKay reconfigured the  _Daedalus_ 's beaming technology to extract…the symbiote." she finished with a smile. Her father nodded meaningfully and her smile bloomed wider as her faith in him was restored.

"Could we accomplish the same with the beaming technology of the  _Odyssey_?" Teal'c questioned.

"Without taking out a chunk of her brain? From what I recall of the mission report, that was a pretty big concern." Jack recalled.

Sam nodded quickly.

"I'd need some time to take enough scans of Vala's head to get a perfect picture of the symbiote's location but it's definitely doable." she said excitedly.

"Sounds like a plan." General Landry said proudly. "You can thank the High Council for the information on the planet but I'm afraid we'll have to pass on the rest."

"They'll be so crushed." Jacob lamented with a mischievous smile.

They spent the next three hours in the briefing room learning about the layout, body-count and technology of Ba'al's settlement on Jris and another four discussing strategy. It was past midnight when General Landry finally adjourned the meeting, letting Jack and SG-1 handle Daniel's protests. Jacob would return to the Tok'ra to relay their response and return the next day with guests to lend a hand in the operation.

Daniel was forced into his quarters on base and was appointed a guard to make sure he didn't leave, not that he would. Teal'c had reminded him rather seriously that he'd need to be clear-headed if they were to rescue Vala without errors and he fully intended to be…as soon as her face left his thoughts and allowed him to sleep that is.

_Two days, Vala, I'm coming._

* * *

Qetesh was bored, she could no longer hear her host's cries of distress. She'd simply vanished sometime after the fourth little girl…or had it been a boy…no matter, it seemed that the key to destroying this woman's soul rested in the painful and horrible screams of toddlers. Oh well, she'd gotten what she wanted but now she was out of villagers and she grew restless. She wanted to know where they were going, what they would be doing but Ba'al had not been interested in the slightest when she'd mentioned her progress in containing her host.

She really should just escape this horrid little ha'tak, go her own way. She was more than competent and she still held several secrets about treasures and hidden planets, she was certain that she could lead a good life. Her only obstacle was Ba'al's Prime but he'd be no bother to kill and then she could take a tel'tak – however beneath her it was – until she found something better.

Qetesh sighed and lifted herself from her throne. She walked slowly to her chambers, bypassing the dead bodies her Jaffa had yet to remove and picked out more comfortable robes for her session in the sarcophagus. She couldn't leave this cursed ha'tak, it would be infinitely easier to seize control of the galaxy by killing Ba'al from a position near him as opposed to an outright war, that would just be messy and would cost her too many resources and Jaffa. She sighed again and lowered herself into the sarcophagus. Tomorrow was a new day and this host was valuable to her Lord in more ways than one, he'd come around eventually.

 


	6. Deliverance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again...I apologize for the time jumps. I must have had some special hatred for the linear back then.

Qetesh was absolutely thrilled. Ba'al had finally brought her back into his activities, not entirely but it was a start. She'd been informed that they would be landing on Jris today, it was a small desert planet but it had potential. He also told her they were expecting worshippers and that always excited her. She had picked out a minimal outfit that would be sure to please her Lord and had met him in his throne room; there he sat in all his glory, confident and powerful, as always.

"My lord." she greeted him with a bowed head and heated eyes. He expelled a loud sigh of tolerance and beckoned her to him.

"My queen, I trust all goes well?" he asked pulling her to him for a ravenous kiss. He released her roughly and she schooled her features not to reflect her discontent.

"Yes, my lord, all is well. I have heard nothing from the host in days, I firmly believe she's been conquered." she enthused.

"I'm sure." he said skeptically as a Jaffa entered the throne room.

"My lord," he said as he kneeled "the Tok'ra have arrived."

"Show our guests in." Ba'al smirked.

"Tok'ra?" Qetesh asked incredulously "What are  _they_  doing here?"

"They've come to worship us, my dear." he answered her delightedly. He seemed confident in the situation but she couldn't shake off a deep sense of unease.

"We  _will_  kill them, won't we?" she asked hopefully and he gave her a look of disdain.

"Eventually, perhaps, but not today." he returned unconcerned. Her teeth ground together in an effort to keep her rage from showing.

"If it's all the same to you, my lord, I'd prefer to return to my quarters for the duration of their stay. They  _were_ among those responsible for my extraction from this host and my imprisonment for many years." she reminded with a tense smile. She would rather face them all and have them massacred in the throne room but Ba'al obviously had a plan and she couldn't afford to cause anymore friction between them.

Ba'al gave her a long look but nodded.

"You may." he dismissed her with a wave of his hand and she backed away with a bow.

"Thank you, my lord." she spoke as she backed out of the room.

Once the doors closed behind her, she dropped the dismissive act with a disgusted shake and turned around to come face to face with the very people she was trying to avoid. There were over fifty Tok'ra standing subdued before her and the urge to lift her ribbon device and splatter them all over the walls of the ha'tak was powerful but she somehow got a rein on it and passed them with only a deep glower.

Qetesh was halfway to her quarters when her ears picked up on soft footsteps behind her. She kept her pace and rounded the corner to turn swiftly on her heels and wait for her followers with her ribbon device active and ready. She didn't have to wait long.

A Tok'ra operative turned the corner cautiously and she surprised him with a blast that threw him violently against the opposing wall. Another one sprinted across the corridor and she trained her weapon on him thereby missing the third male Tok'ra who shot her with a zat'n'ktel. Before she could swear her bloody revenge, her vision faded and she slumped to the ground as all went dark.

"Grab her and let's go." the dark haired Tok'ra ordered another who silently complied. They headed for the ring system but before they could reach it, a loud alarm blared through the halls.

"We need to inject her before we go any further." the red-headed Tok'ra told the leader who agreed and motioned him to do so. He took out a syringe with a clear liquid and carefully emptied the substance into Qetesh's bloodstream while she lay limp in the blonde Tok'ra's arms. The red-head returned the depleted syringe to his pocket and they took off again.

They hadn't taken two steps when staff blasts flew past their heads. They ran past the corner and prepared themselves for a fire fight.

**\--Two hours earlier--**

"Special delivery." Jacob greeted as he crossed the event horizon to Earth with four other Tok'ra and four prisoners gagged and bound following reluctantly behind them. The gate room's SFs stepped forward and each took a prisoner.

"Thanks, guys." he said as they led the men to Level 23.

"Those were the men?" General Landry asked as he stepped into the room.

"Yep," Jacob answered cheerfully "four of the several turncoat Tok'ra that we captured during their rebellion, at your service."

"Excellent." the General smiled at the four Tok'ra accompanying Jacob "Gentlemen, welcome to Earth and thank you for your help in this matter. If you'll follow me." The six men made their way out of the gate room to follow their prisoners and meet up with SG-1 and Jack.

Yesterday, Level 23 had been refitted with the mimic devices from P3X-118 like it had been during the foothold situation seven years ago and the four Tok'ra prisoners were already in line at the mimic processor. The machine would copy and save the memory of their characteristics as their bodies passed through.

"Colonel, how's it coming?" General Landry asked, eyeing the harnesses hanging from the ceiling with discomfort.

"Very well, sir, we should know how Tok'ra physiology responds to the technology soon." Sam answered as she supervised the body processing. The first Tok'ra to enter the machine came out on the other side and was forcibly escorted into one of the harnesses. The General picked up a few devices from the table on the side of the room.

"What about these?" he asked, holding a Y-shaped piece and a red egg-shaped one.

"Ah, those are the memory devices, the small red one allows you to access the memory of the person wearing the brain interlink device in the harness. In exchange for use of the prisoners' physical characteristics, we're allowing the Tok'ra here to use these devices to gather intel on the Tok'ra rebellion." she explained, nodding to the extra Tok'ra that had entered with her father.

"You sure it wouldn't be prudent to wear the memory devices yourselves? What if they ask you questions?" Jack asked warily.

"We have a cover story for how 'we' escaped the Tok'ra but if all goes well we won't have to use it, we plan to get in and out without detection." she answered as the second Tok'ra prisoner was placed in a harness.

"Okay, it might be a little late in the game to be askin' but won't Ba'al just shoot us on sight?" Cameron asked.

"That's why we're going in looking like these Tok'ra rebels." Daniel answered edgily as he pointed to the prisoners, he was more than ready to get underway.

"No, that's what I mean. How do we know that Ba'al won't just shoot the rebel Tok'ra on sight? Isn't that what evil masterminds do when their enemies come crawlin'?" he asked with a touch of trepidation as he eyed the limp Tok'ra swinging in the harnesses.

"Ba'al would not act so rashly." Teal'c answered "It would give him much more satisfaction to lord his power over his former enemy than to kill them immediately."

Cameron sighed as the third body was hoisted into a harness.

"So how does this thing work exactly? People are gonna think we're Tok'ra?" he asked.

"No, we're going to look exactly like these men in the harnesses by attaching this mimic device on our chests." Sam said holding up one of the round pieces on the table. "Let's see if it works."

She placed the technology on her chest and the air around her fluctuated before she disappeared and was replaced by a brown haired man in Tok'ra uniform.

"Woah." Cameron said.

"Alright, it works, can we get on with this?" Daniel asked trying to keep his nerves under control. Sam took off the device and looked like herself again.

"I just want to make sure they all work, we don't want any nasty surprises when we're deep inside Ba'al's mothership." Sam said as the fourth prisoner was securely attached to his own harness.

"Okay, all the mimic devices should now be active so try them on." she said, handing Daniel, Cam and Teal'c their own round mimic devices.

They each attached a device to their chest and instantly transformed into one of the men in the harnesses. They took a quick look at each other and took them off.

"We're good to go, sirs." Sam told the Generals proudly.

"Good work, Colonel." General Landry said and gestured to the other Tok'ra operatives "If you'll just explain to these gentlemen how the memory devices work so they can start their research, then suit up and join SG-1 in the gate room in half an hour. The mission is a go as soon as you're ready."

"Yes, sir." she replied as the Generals and SG-1 left the room. Jacob followed the team into their locker when Jack and General Landry split off.

"Daniel." he called, making sure none of his Tok'ra associates were around. Daniel turned from his corner, pulling on his flak vest.

"Take this." Jacob said, placing a syringe filled with a clear liquid in Daniel's hands "But don't let the other guys I brought know you have it, it kind of goes against our agreement."

"What is it?" Cameron asked as Sam joined them.

"It's an neutralizer for most toxins a symbiote can release. Inject her as soon as you can, it'll stay inactive in her blood stream until it comes into contact with certain poisons, that's when it'll become active and neutralize the harmful effects." Jacob explained.

"Thank you." Daniel breathed, many of his fears suddenly allayed.

"Why does this go against our agreement with the Tok'ra?" Sam asked.

"Because we're officially refusing to help you with anything concerning the extraction of the symbiote and I kind of smuggled this right out of one of our kits, so if we could keep this our little secret…" Jacob said.

"You can trust us." Daniel said gratefully as they finished suiting up and headed for the gate room. He stared at the blue event horizon with his heart in his throat, this was possibly the most important mission he'd ever been on and they couldn't afford any mistakes. As one, they all took out their mimic devices and attached them to their chests transforming their military team into a small group of unarmed Tok'ra as they stepped through the gate to Jris.

**\--Present Time--**

"Teal'c, how far are we from the rings?" the dark haired Tok'ra yelled back to the blonde one.

"Only three corridors." he responded, getting another shot off at Ba'al's Jaffa.

"Alright, here's the plan. Sam take point, clear the way for Teal'c and Vala. Jackson, you and me are taking the rear. Let's go." Cam ordered them and they quickly complied, moving away from the ever firing Jaffa. They shuffled their way slowly down the three last corridors to run into a few Jaffa guarding the rings.

"Okay, ideas?" Cam said as they paused against the wall to catch their breath.

"Yeah, we should have brought a ship." Daniel said sarcastically as Teal'c crouched down with Vala.

"Nice hindsight, Jackson, anything useful? And any idea why there are so few Jaffa after us? Not that I'm complaining or anything." Cam retorted.

"Well they must have realized that four Tok'ra have kidnapped Ba'al's queen so they're probably busy shooting at the rest of the defected Tok'ra." Sam pointed out and none of them could complain at the thought. "And the mimic devices kind of resemble our flash bombs so I'm thinking we could just slide them across the floor and while they scramble away from the 'blast', we zat them."

"That's…creative." Daniel noted but took off his mimic device. He, Sam and Cam peeked around the corner and Daniel chucked the round, flashy device down the hall. While the Jaffa apprehensively watched the trinket slide towards them, SG-1 got off all their zat shots and the rings were freed.

"Let's go, Teal'c." Cam said as Daniel pocketed his 'flash bomb' and Sam set the ring crystals so they'd reappear in the Jrisian forest near the stargate. They took their position within the circle on the floor and with a flash of light they were all free of Ba'al's clutches.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

A few hours later, Daniel was busy studying the thread count in the commissary table linens when Jack interrupted him.

"Daniel."

"Jack."

"You sulking alone?" Jack asked him as he placed a hot cup of coffee in front of his friend.

"I'm not sulking." Daniel sighed as he raised his head and sat properly "And Cam was here two minutes ago."

"So what's up? You found her, you got her, she's back. Why the morose look?" he pressed as he took in his friend's troubled eyes.

"We found her, we got her," Daniel agreed reluctantly "but she's not back yet."

"Carter and Lam are finishing up their high-tech scans and the whole extraction thing is happening in a little while." he replied.

"I know, but…I just can't help but feel like the other shoe is poised to come crashing down on me…" Daniel divulged before taking a swallow of his coffee. They sat in silence for some time, just nursing their drinks.

"This whole…situation," Jack started "it's kind of familiar, isn't it?"

Daniel had to smile at Jack's attempt at subtlety.

"Oh? Is it?" he answered sardonically before sobering. "But it's different this time right? We saved her this time."

"Right." Jack said quietly.

'Saved' was a relative term and they both knew it. Vala had been returned to Earth and would soon be free of the symbiote that controlled her but whether or not they'd been in time to 'save' her remained to be seen.

Daniel swallowed the rest of his coffee in one gulp and stood up quickly.

"I'm gonna go check on their progress." he said and left for the infirmary.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Vala's body had been returned to its private room in the infirmary after numerous scans of her head and Daniel walked in to see Dr. Lam connecting yet another wire to her patient.

"What's that?" he asked quietly, not wanting to startle her.

"I'm changing the sedative, the symbiote has begun to process the old one before it can do its job so I need to give her something stronger." the doctor replied succinctly. "As it is she's not completely out, you can see her twitch every once in a while."

"Are you sure that's Qetesh and not Vala trying to break free?" Daniel asked frowning. Dr. Lam walked around to the other side of the bed and tapped one of the screens.

"These aren't Vala's brainwaves. I can only assume they're Qetesh's." she said simply and he nodded though he felt slightly disappointed, it had been a small hope anyway.

"It's okay if you want to stay." she told him as she left. He didn't answer but pulled a chair a bit closer to the bed. He simply looked at her for the longest time, completely lost in thought. A few minutes later, she did as Dr. Lam had mentioned, her fingers twitched and it made his heart skip a beat until he remembered that it was Qetesh trying to wake up, not Vala. He saw her lips move as well but no sound came out for several minutes.

"What – what…you done…to me, Tok'ra?" Qetesh whispered pathetically through Vala's lips while her eyes remained closed. Hearing the gravely, metallic voice coming out of familiar lips made him angry.

"You don't recognize me? I think I'm hurt." he retorted snidely. At his voice, he could see her eyes begin to crinkle as if she was trying to frown.

"Not…Tok'ra." she whispered with confusion.

"Nope, one hundred percent Tau'ri." he replied. The corner of Vala's lips jumped upward for half a millisecond.

"Daniel." she said, barely audible but confident of her visitor's identity before demanding "What have… _you_  done to me?"

"We've pumped you full of sedatives, you're fighting the last round but the newest dose should kick in at any time now." he informed the snake without concern. She was silent for a long time and Daniel thought she'd lost consciousness again.

"I warned you – I would kill her…before you could do anything…to me." she whispered in a way he was sure was meant to sound menacing but was actually pretty pitiful. He saw a miniscule smile come over her face and he realized she was trying to hurt Vala. Daniel leaned back in his chair and evened out his breathing so she wouldn't pick up on his fear but he could do nothing against his wildly beating heart, he just had to put his faith in the serum Jacob had given him and that he'd injected Vala with himself. After a several minutes and a strong fixation on Vala's vital monitors, Daniel finally saw her lips purse.

"Can't do it, can you?" he taunted her quietly. Her brow tried to wrinkle into a frown but it seemed that the new round of sedatives had finally taken hold and just in time as Sam and Dr. Lam reappeared suddenly. Sam gave him a tentative smile and he understood that it was time. Before the next hour rolled by, he'd either have her back or have lost her forever. He took a shaky breath and stood from the chair.

"I've finished the calculations and the  _Oddysey_ 's beaming technology has been completely focused so instead of beaming out everything attached to the object, the beams will serve more like a precision cut around Qetesh, removing only her. We just need to get Vala back into the scanner to make sure the symbiote hasn't move since the beams were reconfigured." Sam explained, trying to put Daniel at ease.

"We're taking her to the scanning rooms and the ship will beam the symbiote out from there. Will you be accompanying us?" Dr. Lam asked straight-forwardly.

"I've already told the others," Sam added "they'll be watching from the observation room above the scanners."

"Um…no." Daniel said "I just need to run by the commissary. I uh…I need some coffee I think. I'll meet you guys there, don't start without me."

And with that, Daniel sped out of the room and Dr. Lam's nurses began unhooking the bed to roll it out of the room.

* * *

"The symbiote hasn't moved, we're good to go." Dr. Lam declared, looking up from the scans.

"Where's Daniel?" Jack asked Cameron and Teal'c from the observation window.

"Sam said he needed to stop for coffee." Cam replied, his tone clearly making his bafflement known. Judging by their frowns, General O'Neill and Teal'c felt the same.

Finally, Daniel appeared below them, in the scanner room, without coffee. They looked at each other but turned their faces back to the scene below as General Landry and Jacob joined them in the observation room.

"Are we about to start?" General Landry asked.

"Yes, sir, they've just confirmed that the symbiote hasn't moved and I think they're just waiting on the  _Odyssey_ now." Cam replied. The man nodded and they all watched intently. Sam approached the microphone and spoke.

"Alright, we're ready to start. The  _Odyssey_ 's beaming technology isn't able to perform transfers from small enough distances to beam the symbiote directly from Vala's head to the tray here so they'll beam Qetesh up to their ship and then beam her back down." she explained.

"Very well, Colonel, you have a go." General Landry answered her. Sam nodded and picked up her walkie-talkie to tell the  _Odyssey_  they were ready. She, Dr. Lam and Daniel then stood at the side of the room and they all watched as Vala's head and neck was suddenly engulfed in a bright, blue light. The light disappeared and they all held their breaths until it reappeared a few moments later on the tray Sam had specified. As soon as brightness vanished, the men moved for the door to join the others in the room.

When they reached the scene, Sam and Dr. Lam had moved to their patient to check her vitals while Daniel remained at the wall, staring at the tray with a completely dazed expression. Jack motioned the others to stay back as he approached his friend.

"Daniel? You okay?" he asked from about a foot away. As soon as he spoke, Daniel's awareness returned somewhat.

Daniel looked to the side to see Vala and only Vala lying prone on the gurney, then he looked before him at the snake twitching on the tray and was steadily consumed by absolute fury. Before anyone could move to stop him, Daniel took long strides towards the tray and removed from his uniform jacket the large chef's knife he'd procured from the commissary. He threw his arm back and viciously swung it down on the symbiote, cutting it clean in half but he couldn't stop there.

He hacked at it again and again as he remembered how scared Vala's eyes had been when she'd broken free and how her hand had curled tightly around his as they tried to escape. His entire world narrowed to the feel of the heavy knife's wooden handle in his hand, the burn of his bicep contracting to deliver the blows, the recoil from his powerful swings shooting up his arm and the horrible shrieks of the dying snake. Someone tried to stop him but he shoved them back forcefully with his free arm. He swung twice more before he was thrown to the ground, they couldn't pry the knife from his hand but someone's foot pinned his arm down. As the ceiling came into his focus, sound also crept back into his awareness.

"Daniel! Stop. Struggling!" Jack yelled at him "Ow, son of a bitch!"

Daniel figured it was probably Jack's face his hand had just connected with. A firm hand locked on his jaw and the ceiling was replaced with Teal'c's face.

"Do not fight us, DanielJackson."

His friend's solid face was something he could focus on and Daniel felt his blood settle as his rage slowly left him. Teal'c's fingers let go of his chin and Daniel raised his head to see Cameron sitting on his legs and Sam pinning down his arm.

"Let go of the knife, Doctor." General Landry ordered. Daniel looked past Sam's boot and saw how tightly clenched his fingers were around the bloody knife. He made a conscious effort and his hand eventually released his weapon allowing Dr. Lam to scurry forward and take it away.

"You alright now?" Jack asked slowly. Daniel swallowed but nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay now. Sorry." he said without remorse for his actions against the symbiote but for his violence against his friends.

Jack gave him a long look but finally deemed him sane enough and motioned to the others to let him go. Sam's boot left an imprint on his forearm and she bent down quickly to brush off the dust apologetically. Cameron patted his legs firmly before getting up off of them and Teal'c released his iron grip of Daniel's left shoulder. Jack helped him up and Sam quickly ran to the tray to put a sheet over the massacred body of the symbiote to prevent another blowout.

"Is she alright?" he asked quietly as he moved past them and gently picked up Vala's hand from the bed. Dr. Lam looked at him like he was more than a bit disturbed but discretely handed the knife to Cameron and answered his question.

"Her vitals are stable and her brainwaves have reappeared. We'll scan her again to make sure everything went well and then we're going to move her back into her private room and let the sedative wear off, that's when we'll really be able to assess if the operation was a success." she said in what she hoped was a soothing tone. He nodded.

"I'll just stay here, if that's okay." he said and Dr. Lam nodded quickly.

"Yeah, sure, fine, no problem." she tried to smile and cautiously stepped forward to position the scanner over Vala. Daniel heard the symbiote's tray wheels squeaking as someone rolled it away.

"Don't get rid of that." he told them firmly without turning around.

"You want to put it in garbage bags and bury it in your backyard? The jig is kind of up, you have a fair number of witnesses." Jack asked sarcastically but Daniel didn't rise to the bait.

"It's Vala's to do with what she wants." he informed them.

"Don't think there's much left  _to_  do with it." Cam mumbled but they rolled the cart to the corner of the room and looked for a container to put the symbiote's remains in.

Daniel ignored him and stroked the soft skin of Vala's hand. He was just glad to be able to touch her without a doubt of her identity. The scans were finished and her brain was declared to be fully intact so she was wheeled back to her room and there Daniel stayed, determined to be present when Vala woke up.

 


	7. Delight

"It's been three days." Sam murmured from the hallway outside Vala's room where she and Jack were surreptitiously looking in.

"I know." Jack said.

"He hasn't moved." she continued and he nodded.

"I know." Jack repeated quietly. "Did you expect him to?"

"I expected her to wake up days ago." she replied with hints of frustration. Jack tore his eyes away from the sight of Daniel resting his head against Vala's bed to lean back against the wall of the corridor.

"Her body might just need more time to heal." Jack postulated without much conviction. Sam gave him a small, sad smile for his effort but looked back inside at the sleeping woman.

"At this point, Dr. Lam and Mackenzie think it's likely she's regressed inside herself. She's shut herself off so much from her environment that she doesn't even realize the threat is gone and, with no way to reach her, we just have to hope she peeks past her defenses to see that she's safe."

"Mackenzie eh?" Jack asked with disdain and Sam nodded.

"Dr. Lam brought him in to deal with Vala's emotional recovery." she explained.

"Because he's been such an asset in the past." Jack retorted sarcastically, remembering the many times the psychiatrist had screwed them over. Sam could only purse her lips and agree with her superior officer. Jack let out a loud breath and pushed himself away from the wall.

"I need pie, you in?" Jack asked. Sam took one last look at the two sleeping occupants in Vala's room and nodded. They made their way to the commissary hoping that the next time they visited this room it would be with a bouquet of flowers to present to their awoken friend.

* * *

Daniel lifted his head from Vala's mattress when Jack and Sam had left the doorway. He hadn't been sleeping, he just couldn't stand another hour of painful silence and pitying gazes. Alright, to be fair, Daniel knew they didn't pity him, he knew their looks were of sympathy, care and concern but he couldn't handle much more of it. He didn't want sad eyes, he wanted smiling faces telling him Vala would be okay.

He had moved in the past three days, contrary to what Sam thought. He left occasionally to go to the bathroom or change his clothes. He just wasn't gone long enough for anyone to notice his absence. Dr. Lam had told him her theory on Vala's regression and he believed it; Vala was good at protecting herself by any means possible, he just had to wait for her to feel safe enough to come back to him…them.

Daniel sat back in his chair and took her hand in his, stroking the soft skin. He knew that Vala would let down her guard eventually and he figured a gentle touch greeting her couldn't hurt. As Daniel studied her slumbering face, he thought she looked peaceful. No, she looked more than peaceful, she looked rejuvenated; there was a youthful quality to her that he suddenly realized wasn't an illusion. Qetesh had held her captive for almost two weeks, undoubtedly subjecting Vala's body to a sarcophagus numerous times. He remembered his own experience with a sarcophagus years ago, the painful addiction that had erased the few small wrinkles he had accumulated at that time.

His eyes roamed over every inch of her face, taking in the small changes. The fragile skin beneath her eyes was light and smooth, he hadn't realized how dark it had been before but he had no doubt the bruised appearance would return within days of her consciousness. He thought her skin was slightly paler than her normal shade but that might have just been a distorted memory. The small lines around her mouth and the laugh lines at her eyes had shrunken but he didn't care about that, it was her eyes that he wanted to see, her expressions.

"I was thinking that, to make up for the…outing that was ruined by the NID, we could go to O'Malley's sometime." he told her quietly. He'd spoken to her on and off over the three days she'd slept. He had told her all about the revelations he'd had aboard the mothership and how he promised to be more patient with her from now on. He'd chatted aimlessly, usually holding her hand, desperate to believe that she would hear him eventually. If she did this time, she didn't answer.

"Oh alright, the date. There, I admitted it, it was a date." he said with exaggeration "Don't you want to wake up and gloat?" She didn't answer.

"They have great chocolate cake there, I know you can't resist that. We used to go to O'Malley's all the time, before they banned us for going nuts that one time. They forgave us eventually, after several healthy donations." he could picture her smirking at him "No, not bribes, donations."

"We wouldn't invite the team though, not this time." he promised, softly running his thumb across her palm. He had a moment of hesitation but pushed it aside to lift her hand to his mouth and press a long kiss to the skin his thumb had been exploring. He closed his eyes tightly as her taste assaulted him and slowly returned their joined hands to the mattress with a shuddering sigh.

He opened his eyes and spotted the metal canister that held Qetesh's dismantled body. The sight no longer filled him with the rage that had overwhelmed him days ago. He'd had time to reflect on his actions and although he felt some shame at having lost control with his friends, he wouldn't do a thing differently. A part of him was also remorseful at having stolen Vala's chance at her own retribution but Daniel knew he never would have been at peace with himself if he hadn't taken his revenge against the monsters that had ruined his life over and over again. He only hoped Vala could forgive him, and he was willing to work at earning that forgiveness for the rest of his life if she'd let him.

Daniel released her hand and stood up, needing to stretch his legs after another long bout of idleness. He only walked as far as the other side of the bed, working out the kinks in his back along the way. Having sat on her right side the whole while, her left side was relatively unexplored and although the sight was practically identical, he felt as though he'd never laid eyes on it before. He brushed her bangs back and let the back of his fingers trail over her distinctive cheekbones. His hand continued down to her jaw and his thumb swept lightly over her full lower lip as he continued his one-sided conversation with her.

"We could even go dancing after, if you like. I don't really know how to dance but something tells me you do." he teased her sleeping form. "I could show you the sights like I should done have years ago. There isn't that much to see in the city but we could take a trip somewhere, I think we're well overdue for some vacation time. I think you'd blend in with the European culture perfectly."

She stayed still and Daniel's heart sunk a little lower, like it did every time she didn't answer. The machine behind him spiked but he didn't notice it, the steady rhythm of the heart monitor had become background noise over the past few days.

"I'll get you a whole new wardrobe from Paris if you want, apparently they have great shopping there." he offered, stroking the length of her arm "I have quite a few untapped paychecks amassing interest, not to mention the hefty 'sorry you died in the line of combat' packages the Air Force generously threw at me over the years. The only thing I really use the money for is my apartment's rent and a few outings with the guys."

Daniel paused his musings and chuckled suddenly, squeezing her hand gently.

"As much as I'm dying to hear you answer me, I think it's best you weren't awake to hear that last part. We're probably all safer with you not knowing what resources are at my disposal, especially since I'm sure you'll discover soon enough the power you hold over me." he told her wisely before returning to his chair, still not realizing the different beat of her heart machine.

* * *

Vala felt nothing, she heard nothing, she saw nothing. She was safe in a vacuous bubble, protected from evils she couldn't remember. She didn't know how she'd gotten here but she did know that whatever existed on the outside of her foggy space had hurt her. She had no concept of time here and she didn't need it but her memory nagged at her. She remembered chaos, she remembered avoidance and pursuit, she remembered escaping something. She didn't know what it could have been but she had the feeling that she might not need to hide any longer. It was a ridiculous thought though. Even if there was no danger, why would she leave this place? Why would she leave her sanctuary, why take that chance? It was preposterous, but she couldn't shake it. There was a reason she should try to see on the outside.

She couldn't get a grip on the feeling but the more she questioned, the stronger it became until the thought of staying within the safe confines of her little alcove was no longer attractive. Tentatively, she pushed against the barriers of her mind and was assaulted by flashes of memories forcing her to recoil quickly and further ensconce herself in her bubble.

Qetesh. That was the danger. The small breach outside her safe zone had allowed Vala to remember to circumstances of her self-containment but she hadn't felt the usual resistance that came when Qetesh had tried to silence her in the past. There had been only silence, emptiness.

She didn't know how much time had passed but Vala grew more and more confident as she analyzed every sensation of her momentary escape. Again she pressed against her mental walls and attempted to reconnect with her senses. Her head was blissfully devoid of Qetesh's thoughts but that didn't mean much. Vala threw herself out further and tried to focus on finding some kind of firm ground upon which to stand.

The sound of a voice had her fleeing back to her bubble until she realized that it wasn't emanating from her head, it was on the outside. She curiously allowed the senses to return. The voice wasn't deep but it wasn't feminine, there was a man present. A flash of Ba'al's face flew across her mind but Vala pushed it aside as she took note of the soft, caring tones the voice spoke with. The words were unintelligible in her state but the soothing quality was begging her to rise up to meet it.

The voice stopped but a new feeling rushed through her. It was soft, like the voice, and warm. It was a sensation she couldn't remember feeling for a very long time and Vala tried to focus on it but it disappeared before her thoughts could give her a clear picture of what was going on. The loss devastated her newfound awareness and she desperately tried to find it again, needing the warmth to return to guide her out of this void.

She threw herself into every corner of her mind to find the missing sensation but paused her frantic search when a fleeting feeling reappeared. It wasn't the warmth from before but something even softer, something light that moved across her. Across her face!

Much of the fog had cleared now and she was rediscovering parts of her body that had apparently been dormant for quite some time. The feeling was still fleeting but the voice returned and she could distinguish more of it, not words but the timber and it was definitely familiar. Her memory begged her attention and the answer almost came to her but the touch left her face and she was struck with fear. The voice continued to draw her nearer to freedom but it wasn't enough she needed – there!

That was her arm! She could feel it, something was stroking her arm.

New perceptions came in a whirlwind now. The voice was sad then wistful, the voice laughed softly. The warmth settled back in her hand but disappeared. Finally empowered enough by the return of her sense, she fought madly to break through the final barriers. The world was still black but she could clearly hear footsteps to her right and the slight scraping of a metal chair against the linoleum floor. She could feel her body, feel the slight breeze of the room's conditioned air. She concentrated and felt her toes twitch. Elated with her success, Vala concentrated on her hand but it was much harder. The warmth returned to her right hand as if to help her and she twitched her thumb; it encountered flesh and she realized that it was a hand, a large and strong hand holding her own. As soon as the movement was registered, the hand tightened around her own.

"Vala?" the voice called out hopefully, she wished she could see it, she wished she could answer it.

She forgot the hand for a moment and redirected all her energy to opening her eyes. It took a moment and she could feel the strange hands drift to other parts of her but she focused and she finally cracked her eyelids apart, squinting against the harsh light that invaded her eyes. After that victory, everything else fell into place.

She took one look at a familiar ceiling and her memories of the past two weeks became clearer, agonizingly so. She'd been taken as host again, her body had been violated and forced into horrible situations and she'd had no control. She raised her hands before her eyes and experimentally wiggled her fingers. They obeyed, they were hers again, hers alone.

"Vala!"

She was startled out of her thoughts by the familiar voice on her right, Daniel. The last time she'd seen him, she'd thrown him into the circle of rings, not knowing his fate beyond that.

Vala finally tried to speak but her unused voice came out cracked. It didn't seem to matter though as she was surrounded by his arms not a second later. Daniel was beside himself with relief. He held her to him tightly, not caring that she hadn't yet moved, he was just glad she was awake. He pushed her back gently but didn't release her.

"Vala." he breathed, distracted by her beautifully dark eyes staring back at him "How do you feel?"

It seemed to take her some time to understand his question but he couldn't blame her with the abuse her mind had taken. She looked back at him with the tiniest hint of a tremulous smile.

"You're…okay?" she whispered as best she could and Daniel was dumbstruck; she'd just been through almost two weeks of horrible torture and her first words are asking him how he is.

"My god, Vala." he laughed disbelievingly but quieted himself as her brow drew together in concern. "Yeah, I'm okay, I'm okay now."

She smiled weakly and he couldn't resist the urge to wrap her back in his arms. She went willingly and tucked herself in his shoulder, glad that he wasn't able to see her face anymore. Her thoughts weren't organized enough to form proper sentences, especially with the memories she was trying to suppress running amok in her mind, never mind trying to smile yet. He moved away again and she forced her face into a neutral, normal expression that threatened to crack clean in half when he gently laid his lips against her temple before moving to her cheek. She thought he'd continue further but he pulled away sheepishly.

"Sorry, I just – I'm so – I can't believe you're actually here, awake." he stuttered, a subtle flush climbing his neck.

She pushed herself into a more seated position than the one he'd pulled her into and Daniel helped her by propping some pillows behind her back and drawing the sheets up to follow her. He moved to stand as close to her as the bed permitted and Vala studied his rugged features, taking in the unshaven scruff along his jaw. It had tickled her when he kissed her face and her fingers itched to feel it so she let them. Her right hand rose slowly and she ran the back of her fingers across the short beard with an amused grin.

"I thought…you'd grown out of this look, darling." she jibed as steadily as she could.

The mixed sensations of her hand on his jaw, the sight of a grin adorning her lips and hearing the term of endearment he'd been craving made his heart pump so loud he was sure she heard it. His own hand returned to her jaw and the slight embarrassment he'd felt earlier dissipated to be replaced by raw need; the need to reassure himself that she was here, the need to believe in no uncertain terms that she was alright, the need to experience for himself the life flowing through her body to vanquish the lurking fears still anchoring his soul to the despair he'd felt when she'd been torn from his side.

His eyes roamed from hers to her lips and the latter quirked slightly as she understood his intentions. She drew his lips to hers and kissed him with every emotion she wasn't trying to shove down. She felt his desperation and he felt hers, not realizing it pertained to something else. When breathing became an issue, they parted slowly but didn't move more than a few inches away from the other. Daniel offered her a small smile but she had trouble reciprocating, he had a random thought that he might actually be witnessing Vala piecing herself back together.

Kissing Daniel lit her with hundreds of unnamed emotions, as she knew it would, but while she reveled in the fireworks his touch evoked in her, the distraction made it all the more difficult to contain the feelings she was trying to repress.

"I should call Dr. Lam." he said, pulling away from her but her hand closed like steel bands around his and he was anchored to her side.

"Wait." she whispered with her eyes closed. Suddenly the thought of him leaving her side, even for a moment, flooded her with terror and froze the blood in her veins. She cleared her throat to better speak and opened her eyes. "Just wait, please."

"Vala, what's wrong? What do you need?" he asked her softly, taking her other hand.

"I'm just...cold." she confessed quietly and he quickly moved to fetch the extra blanket at the foot of the bed but she pulled him back again with a shake of her head. His eyes questioned her but as she turned her eyes away he understood.

He sat on the bed and gathered her back in his arms, her tense body relaxing slowly as his hands rubbed her back. Her own hands wound around his back and snaked under his shirt to seek with warm skin, a tactile sensation she'd been starved of. She shivered once but settled against him for several more minutes before finally letting go.

"Feel better?" he asked trying not to feel stupid for the question. Several noticeable shadows crossed her face but she alluded to none of them as she gave him a small smile.

"A bit tired actually, but by the looks of it, I've had quite the nap." she quipped with less enthusiasm than usual but more than he'd expected.

"You've been asleep for three days." he informed her and she nodded, taking in stride.

"Qetesh?" she asked, keeping her eyes away from his.

"Dead." he said strongly but shifted uncomfortably when she looked at him quickly "Sam found a way to beam her out of you and I…I – she's dead, I – I couldn't just…I killed her, I'm sorry."

She cocked her head and looked at him strangely.

"You're sorry?" she asked with confusion.

"Well, I'm not sorry I killed her but I'm sorry I didn't give you the option of doing it yourself." She nodded her understanding but didn't seem too bothered by it. "Um, we-we kept her remains in case you wanted to do something with them." he continued, glancing at the metal canister in the corner. Again she nodded but said nothing.

"Okay, I'm just gonna call Lam, get you checked out." he told her as he moved for the phone on the wall.

* * *

"She checks out fine, vitals are normal and brainwaves are back to standard." Dr. Lam said, replacing her stethoscope around her neck "She needs rest but otherwise she's healthy."

The team stood around Vala's bed with distinctly lighter hearts than they'd sported for the past couple of weeks. Daniel hadn't given up his spot at Vala's side nor had he relinquished her hand when their teammates joined them, Sam stood on Vala's other side as soon as Dr. Lam had vacated the space and Teal'c and Cameron stood near but closer to the foot of the bed. Vala was all grins and chatting about this and that which nobody seemed to find out of place; saving the world a dozen times and being pushed to the brink of death a couple hundred more had seemingly jaded them all but Daniel was going to be keeping a close eye on her.

"So when can I bust out of here?" Vala asked Dr. Lam with her most charming smile. The doctor raised an eyebrow at the obvious manipulation tactics but nodded.

"Now if you like. I don't see any reason you'd need further medical supervision. Dr. Mackenzie will want to meet with you regularly but physically you appear to be fine." Dr. Lam replied succinctly, drawing a large smile from Vala who immediately moved to hop off the bed.

"Perfect!" she enthused before pausing "Wait, Dr. who?"

"Dr. Mackenzie is the SGC's leading psychiatrist, he'll be helping you through the psychological and emotional traumas of your…capture." Dr. Lam replied. Vala frowned.

"Is that really necessary?" she asked, scanning the room "I was barely gone more than a week." she continued but was met with concerned faces "I feel fine."

"That will be up to Dr. Mackenzie to determine. We can't put you back on the duty roster without a psychological evaluation." Lam told her sympathetically.

"What?" Vala asked almost anxiously "But I've already been through one of those, I passed, remember?"

"This one is different." Daniel said soothingly "We've all had to go through it at one point, more than once for some. It'll be fine."

Vala didn't seem to believe him but she agreed anyway.

"You won't meet him until next week in any case, he's coming in on Tuesday. I suggest you use the weekend to rest up, relax, get your mind off of things…" Dr. Lam finished somewhat lamely as she remembered what exactly those 'things' involved.

The room was silent and uncomfortable until Cameron clapped his hands loudly.

"Well not to worry, Doc, we've got a party to plan. I'm sure that'll distract us plenty." he said enthusiastically and Vala perked up immediately.

"Party?" she intoned brightly. Cam nodded and Sam grinned at her.

"Your Welcome Home party! Well, it's more like a team night than an actual party but beer and cake will be included." the blonde winked at her and Vala's eyes grew round with delight.

"Well what are we standing around here for?" she asked, accepting Daniel's hand to shimmy herself off the bed. Her legs hadn't been used in three days and were a tad shaky but Daniel didn't seem to mind her use of his arm as a crutch.

The rest of the team and Dr. Lam made for the door.

"We'll see you at your place in two hours?" Cam asked Daniel.

"Yeah, Sam knows the way." he replied as he and Vala walked away from the group to reach her quarters.

"Your place?" she asked curiously.

"Um, yeah," he said slightly abashed. He shifted his arm out of her hands and curled it around her waist to better support her as he continued. "I just – I just figured the based might feel a little…claustrophobic…I thought that maybe – maybe you might like to be outdoors for a change."

Vala was struck speechless by his intuition but Daniel took her silence as a sign he'd been wrong.

"We could stay on base though, of course. I should have figured you'd prefer something familiar. I'll just call the guys – " his apology was cut short as she stopped in her tracks and kissed him soundly on the lips. She backed away and grinned at his dazed look.

"Your place sounds absolutely delightful, darling." she winked at him. He smiled back but it slipped into a frown as they began to walk again. He loved her smiles but seeing them without the accompanying sparkle in her eyes made them seem…hollow somehow.


	8. Delusions

"Come on in." Daniel told Vala as he unlocked the door and let it swing open.

She walked in slowly as if entering a forbidden cave, and curiously…as if she were entering a forbidden cave. She kicked off her shoes and threw her bag on the couch as she took in the sights of Daniel's home.

"I like it, it's very…you." she declared, eyeing the various statues and books. Daniel picked up the mail from the floor and joined her.

"Thanks, I think." he replied with an uncertain grin, she just smiled back.

"What's this?" Vala asked, picking up a statue from the center of his coffee table.

"That…is a replica of a statue found in a dig of a Mayan temple." he said with a wry grin as he studied the piece "I'd forgotten that I'd brought it home."

"You forgot?" Vala asked dubiously, putting the statue back on the table and sitting down on the loveseat behind her "How did you forget what was in your own home?"

"Well, I haven't really been here in a while." he explained, instinctively following her down to the sofa.

"You prefer your quarters at the base?" she asked skeptically, crossing her legs under her.

"No," he grinned "definitely not but…I was kind of preoccupied with getting you back as of late…I couldn't really bring myself to leave the base."

The smile on her face rivaled the one she'd blessed him with on their non-date in shyness and sincerity and he was pulled to her like a magnet. She seemed to anticipate his actions because she leveraged herself up on her knees and leaned over him, bracing herself on his shoulders.

"Well, I'm here now." she said with dark eyes.

All at once, the aching emptiness that had consumed him when Vala was gone overwhelmed him and his whole body shook with desperation. His hands shot up and cupped her face to pull her lips to his for a frantic kiss. Vala went willingly and pushed Daniel back to mold herself to his body. He pushed his leg past her on the couch to cradle her body and one of his hands left her cheek to wrap itself around her lower back to pull her to him, earning him a moan in the process.

With lips and tongues they devoured each other until their lungs burned with lack of oxygen, only then did they separate. Vala moved to lean back but Daniel held her to him with a gentle yet unyielding grip.

"Daniel?" she asked, concerned about the faint tremor running through his body. She felt him take a shuddering breath and his lips descended on her neck for an instant before he answered her.

"I'm sorry…I just – I just…" he whispered before continuing in a mournful tone, feeling tears sting his eyes " _I_   _lost_ _you_."

Vala moved against him again and an irrational fear shot through him but he let her go, already feeling like an idiot. Her legs nudged his until she was able to properly straddle him and then she shuffled her way closer to him.

"I'm right here, darling, back on Earth, in your house, with you." she whispered, pressing herself closer. She laid her head back on his shoulder and he quickly brought his arms back up to hold her. "And I've no intention of leaving."

Her words somehow calmed him down, not completely but enough to be humiliated by how he'd acted. They stayed together for a long time before Daniel spoke again.

"We should probably get settled in before the guys get here." Daniel said reluctantly, causing Vala to moan her objections and slump against him.

"But I'm comfortable." she whined, pressing a warm kiss to his collarbone.

Daniel grinned at her, catching her lips once more for a brief kiss before tapping her legs to get her to move off of him.

"Come on." he encouraged, grinning even more when he caught sight of her exaggerated pout.

"Fine." she said, drawing out the vowels and moving off of him. Daniel had to fist his hands to keep from reaching out and pulling her back down. Instead he grabbed her bag from the long sofa and motioned her up the stairs.

Daniel showed her the bathroom on the left, his bedroom on the right and continued down the hall to show her the guest bedroom. He saw a shadow pass over her face when they stopped at the second bedroom but was hit with his own stab of disappointment when she happily went inside without a comment.

"Well…I'll just let you get settled in…I'll be down the hall if you need me." he said and with that abruptly turned around and marched resolutely back to his own room.

Vala sat down on her bed with a sigh when Daniel disappeared. She'd been slightly disappointed when he'd shown her to the guest room but the feeling had flown away easily when she remembered how hectic the nights could be after something painful happened to her. Vala could push down her fear and her memories, she could plaster a smile to her face all day but she couldn't control her rampant dreams that often had her waking up on the floor beside the bed, sweating and in a complete panic. She didn't need that to become public knowledge. She just needed a week or two for her subconscious to get with the program and let her return to her dreamless nights before she could move to the next level with Daniel…no matter how much she wanted to run down the hall and beg him to let her stay with him.

Vala sighed and started putting away her clothes. A few weeks and she'd be back to normal. A few weeks and she wouldn't be blinking back tears when Daniel kissed her or hugged her like she'd been doing downstairs. Just a few weeks…

* * *

Daniel sat on his bed with a sigh of self-loathing. He couldn't believe how spastic he was around Vala now. He'd been fine at the SGC when he'd told her to pack in case she wanted to stay over, he'd been fine in the car ride over as she chatted about the sights on their route, but the moment she stepped into his house…For weeks he'd agonized over her absence, the fear of what she must be enduring had eaten away at him until he'd snapped at everyone around him in an unconscious effort to distract himself. Then to have her back, to have her freed from Qetesh, to have her wake up and smile at him, to have her walk through his house looking so natural there was too much. He felt foolish for how desperately he'd held on to her downstairs but her presence had overwhelmed him and he'd needed to believe she wouldn't be whisked away again.

The question of sharing a bedroom had plagued him ever since he suggested she stay the night and as much as he wanted her in his sights and by his side at all times, he just couldn't believe that it was the best idea, for either of them. Vala still hadn't mentioned anything from her ordeal, hadn't displayed any outwardly distress whatsoever and he didn't want to be an accessory to her repression. He, on the other hand, needed the space to compose himself, something he imagined he'd be doing a lot for the next couple of days because the emotions of relief, worry and ecstasy had yet to settle.

Daniel lifted his head and took a look at the almost alien space that was his bedroom, he hadn't been here for quite some time but he couldn't see a speck of dust. He smiled as he thought of his friends, it was a long standing tradition among SG-1 to air out and clean the house of any teammate who'd been gone for a prolonged period, whether due to kidnapping, coma, or any other such conditions. Granted, Daniel hadn't been 'taken' from his home but the guys must have noticed his perpetual presence on the base since he'd returned from Ba'al's mothership. He knew they'd dusted Vala's room on base while he sat with her but he hadn't expected them to do this.

"Daniel?" Vala's voice from the doorway startled him. She walked in and sat down on his bed beside him. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I was just thinking I owe the guys for cleaning my place." he said, running a finger over his dustless nightstand. "I thought that's what I'd be doing for the next two hours."

"How considerate of them," she said as she slipped her hand in his "but now whatever will we ever do until they arrive?"

"Have any ideas?" he asked her with a knowing grin.

"One," she replied mischievously, leaning in close "but it's for tomorrow."

* * *

"She wants to do what?" Jack asked incredulously as he got another beer from the fridge. They'd shown up an hour ago, at the appointed time, with food, drinks and movies to last them through the week and then Jack had actually ordered pizza on top of it, something Vala had been happy about. They were now sprawled throughout his living room watching Vala's selection of Ocean's 11, apparently the combination of the dashing George Clooney and a very intelligent heist was too good to resist.

"She wants to go to the carnival." Daniel repeated.

"There's no carnival in Colorado." Jack said, leaning against the counter.

"The fair, it's in town." he corrected himself and Jack nodded before frowning.

"Why does she want to go to the fair? How does she even know about it? She doesn't strike me as the type to wake up from a three day coma and break out the community paper." he asked. Daniel sighed and took out a box of Oreos the guys had brought over, Vala loved them.

"I told her about it before…before all this, before she was taken." he said but paused as he remembered the teasing banter of the few minutes before they were ambushed "I told her – that if she was good, if she didn't…cause any problems at the harvest feast…that I'd take her on the weekend."

"Ah." Jack said simply, stealing a look into the living room to see the other guys. "So…she wants to go to the fair. That's…doable."

"Yeah," Daniel said, still troubled "it is."

"But?" Jack asked with a raised brow.

"But I'm worried it's just the first in a long line of activities that'll let her just…forget what happened to her." he confessed with dark eyes, busying his hands by opening the box of Oreos and removing the plastic around the tray.

"Right, because  _we_  usually pour over the awful things in our lives." Jack drawled sarcastically. Daniel gave him an unimpressed glare.

"We don't  _bottle_  things…not when it's really important. Anyway that's not the point, the point – the point is that to this day, no matter what she's been through, she's shrugged it off and skipped away without a word." he said "Jesus, Jack, she was  _burnt alive_  and the first words out of her mouth were a joke, then everything with the Ori and Adria…she barely even blinked. I don't want her to keep doing that, I don't want her to think she can't talk about it, I don't want her to keep hurting in silence!"

He was quiet then, hazarding a glance to the living room to make sure no one had heard his outburst. Everyone was still glued to the television.

"So," Jack said slowly "no to the fair?"

Daniel gave a pained sigh and just barely kept from smacking his forehead against the cupboards.

"I don't know. She wants to go, and she's never been to a fair yet so…taken out of the context of the past few weeks it  _would_  be a great thing for her. And she gets so excited talking about it…" he trailed off with a grin before seemingly resolving himself "I want her to be happy, the fair will definitely make her happy if only for a few hours. I'll just have to make sure she knows she can actually take time to process what's been done to her."

"So, to sum up…?" Jack asked, grabbing another beer for Daniel as they moved to leave the kitchen.

"We all need therapy and we're going to the fair." Daniel grinned, rolling his eyes.

Daniel sat down beside Vala on the loveseat, handing her the box of Oreos and lifting the blanket to get under while Jack reclaimed the armchair. Cam, Teal'c and Sam were sharing the long couch. Daniel looped his arm around Vala's shoulders and brought her close to him as she tore open the Oreos, magnanimously passing the tray around before digging in. George Clooney was having a drink with Julia Roberts on the screen but Daniel didn't notice, he was too entranced by the feel of Vala's body pressing against him as she snuggled closer under his arm.

Ocean's 11 finished and the guys started Ocean's 12 since none of them had seen it yet. The next two hours were passed mostly in silence, like the first two, as they all finally had a chance to unwind and relax from the stress and frustration of the last weeks. Conversation wasn't necessary; they just needed to let their minds shut down like they always did after such periods of intensity. When the credits rolled after the movie, Sam reached for the rest of the movies and turned to Vala to ask which they should watch next but smiled at Daniel instead as she gestured him to look at the woman at his side.

Daniel knew what Sam wanted him to see, Vala's chest had settled into a regular pattern against his own and her head felt heavier against his shoulder. He leaned forward carefully and pushed her bangs away and sure enough, Vala was sound asleep. He indulged in a smile as he watched her but when he looked to Jack, the older man was silently giving the rest of them their clean-up tasks. Daniel waved his protests, telling them to leave it but Jack countered him with his superior charade skills.

"You need help getting her upstairs?" Jack whispered.

"No, I'll be fine." Daniel replied very quietly, Jack nodded before swallowing the last of his beer.

"Fair tomorrow?" he asked.

"I guess so, it can't be in town for much longer. You staying in town?" Daniel asked him, knowing that his friend would be needed back soon enough but Jack furrowed his brows scandalously.

"Daniel, have you  _ever_  know me to skip out on a fair?" he admonished the man and Daniel rolled his eyes. Jack smirked at him as the others reappeared from the clean-up.

"We'll see you tomorrow." Jack said, heading for the door.

"Yeah, we'll see you." Daniel said, watching his friends put their coats and boots on. "Thank you." he said sincerely.

They all quietly exited the house, leaving Daniel with a slumbering woman in his arms. He glanced at the clock on the VCR and was surprised to see it approaching one o'clock in the morning. He turned his eyes back to Vala and contemplated the best way to get upstairs. He'd be fine getting her up the stairs, he just couldn't get out of their tangle of arms without waking her.

"Vala," he murmured "you have to wake up for a second."

A tiny mewl escaped her but she didn't seem to register anything but the cold, she locked onto his waist and brought her legs to the warmth of his lap. This new position allowed him to thread his arms under her and Daniel lifted her up carefully, walking across the living room slowly and then up the stairs. He was so tempted to bring her into the first bedroom on his right but resolutely continued down the hall, nudging her door open and entering.

They made it to the bed without injury and he laid her down softly, laughing quietly when she refused to unwind her arms from his neck. He finally slipped his head under her arms and stepped back. He was glad Sam had convinced Vala that comfortable clothing were absolutely necessary during team night, he didn't have to change her, not that it would be the first time. He shook himself out of his reverie and slowly slipped the sheets from under her to tuck her in. Everything was done, she was perfectly settled in, and now he had to leave….

His eyes slid to the empty space beside her and his heart longed for it but he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. It was better for both of them…he just wished he didn't have to keep reminding himself. Dropping a kiss to her forehead, he left the room, closing the door quietly behind him.

Daniel returned downstairs to close the lights and make sure the locks were all set before going to bed himself. He took off his pants, keeping only his boxers and shirt and getting into bed.

His sheets were too cold.

He closed his eyes with irritation. This was ridiculous, he'd made a decision for all the right reasons, he wouldn't go back on it just because his sheets were chilly or because his pillow didn't smell like strawberry shampoo…which it didn't. Daniel drew his sheets to his shoulders like he'd done for Vala and settled himself in for a long, long night.

* * *

Vala shot out of sleep, her heart beating frantically in her chest, cold sweat covering her entire body. Her breath was coming out in pants as if she'd run a marathon, which actually wasn't far from the truth. Ba'al had been hurting her and when she'd finally managed to get away, he chased after her until she'd run into a mirror image of herself with glowing eyes and a malicious smile.

She sat up in bed, trying to get her bearings. It took her a moment but she finally recognized her surroundings, she was in Daniel's guest room. She pushed the moist sheets away and gasped as the cool night air met her damp skin. She darted to her dresser and quickly changed clothing, wiping the sweat away with her previous shirt. She was still shivering but she didn't feel as disgusting as she had before. She turned back to the bed but the thought of returning to it churned her stomach and she backed away instead. When her back hit the door, she realized that she wasn't alone in this house, Daniel was right down the hall. She immediately left her room and padded silently down the dark corridor but stopped abruptly as her hand reached for his doorknob.

He hadn't wanted to share a room, a bed.

He hadn't explained why and at the time she'd been more interested in him keeping that decision in case this very thing happened. Now though, in the dark with her teeth chattering and her heart still pounding with the remnant fears of her dreams, now she just wanted him to be around her, keeping her warm and safe. She approached his door and very slowly turned the knob, pushing the door open soundlessly and letting herself in.

She tiptoed inside and shut the door behind her. When she turned to face the bed she was struck with apprehension. The last time she'd been in his bedroom uninvited he'd kicked her out without a thought…but that _had_  been two years ago and their relationship  _had_  progressed quite a bit since then. She took a step towards the bed but the shadowy lump on the bed turned suddenly between the sheets and her heart seized violently. Daniel settled again and Vala let out a quiet breath of relief. This had too many unknowns, she didn't want to risk whatever it was they now had just for a night of comfort.

Vala backed up to the door but instead of opening it again, she slid quietly to the floor and just rested her head on her knees. Being close wasn't as good as being in his arms but it was infinitely better than going back to her room alone.

* * *

Daniel was confused. He hadn't slept a wink all night, despite his numerous attempts, and he'd clearly heard Vala leave her room and walk down the hall. Then, nothing. A few minutes later, his door had opened and she stepped inside but stopped again. He'd turned over to better see her but she backed away and sat on the floor without a word. He propped himself up on his elbow and could see her resting her head on her knees over the mattress.

"Vala." he said quietly and winced when she jumped violently in surprise "Sorry."

She didn't answer. He sat up on the bed and threw off his comforter to get up and reach her.

"Vala, what's wrong?" Daniel pressed, kneeling down and putting his hand on her arm, her skin was icy. "God, Vala, you're freezing."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." she apologized and his brow furrowed in concern.

"You didn't, I wasn't sleeping." he assured her but her head tilted in question. "I couldn't fall asleep, I was too busy worrying about you." he told her with a fleeting grin.

"Worrying about me?" she echoed skeptically "I'm not in danger anymore, I was just down the hall, what could have happened to me there?"

"Plenty." he said gravely "But right now I'm more concerned with why you had to sneak into my room in the middle of the night."

"I'm sorry," she said, standing up and moving for the doorknob "I shouldn't have, I know. I'll just - "

Her apology was cut short by Daniel's large hand clamping onto hers on the doorknob, preventing her from turning it. He stepped closer to her, his warm chest was flush with her back and his left arm curled around her abdomen.

"No, I – I didn't mean that like it sounded, I'm sorry." he said quietly "I'm just…worried."

"You keep saying that." Vala answered, still not facing him "I don't see what you have to be worried about."

There was a dark laugh against her ear and Daniel rested his temple against her hair.

"I worry…that I'm insane." he whispered.

"What?" Vala exclaimed softly, turning her head a fraction in his direction as his thumb stroked the hand that still lay on the doorknob.

"I worry that I've lost my mind." he repeated with difficulty "I worry that I'll wake up, walk down the hall and you won't be there. I worry that you're just a figment of my imagination and you'll vanish before my eyes, leaving me alone again…like you did when you pushed me into the rings."

Vala closed her eyes and tried to reabsorb the tears that were accumulating on the edge of her lid. Her hand convulsed involuntarily against the doorknob causing Daniel's hand to tighten around hers.

"Please stay." he murmured into her ear "I know I have no right to ask you to but…please, just stay here, with me…at least for tonight."

Vala turned slowly, almost not believing her ears. He didn't step away as she turned and his eyes were boring into hers just a few inches away. She swallowed with difficulty and licked her lips.

"You want me to stay?" she asked in wonder.

"Yes. Please, stay with me." he repeated. Relief shone through her eyes and his concern for her returned in full force. She finally nodded when she realized she hadn't answered him yet and he drew her close, feeling relieved himself.

"Thank you." he said quietly, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead before taking her hand and leading her to his bed. She got in eagerly and immediately brought the still warm sheets up to her neck, her body shivering as it acclimatized itself to the new temperature.

Daniel got in quickly as well. He lay on his side, facing her, and looped both arms around her to draw her near. Their legs tangled naturally and she rested her head on his shoulder hoping his arm wouldn't go numb. His hand started running patterns across her back and Vala finally felt most of her demons disappear into the night.

"I'm glad you did but…why did you come here?" Daniel spoke softly. Vala didn't tense up but she didn't look at him when she answered, he knew before she spoke that she'd be lying.

"I just – it was too cold in my room, I couldn't sleep." she said. He wouldn't press, not now but he needed to make something clear.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" he asked. She raised her head to better see him.

"What do you mean?" she asked casually.

"I mean…if there's anything troubling you or – or if you just need something to be heard, you can tell me. I won't ever think poorly of you." he promised. She sent him a pointed look and he amended himself.

"Not  _anymore_ , I won't ever think poorly of you anymore. I've decided to stop being so quick to judge, you can be my first test subject." he said with a grin and she returned it with a tentative smile. "I just need you to know that. I wanted you to understand that you could tell me anything, it'll be safe with me."

She lowered her head to its position on his shoulder again and nodded.

"Thank you." she whispered.

He tightened his arm around her and relaxed as his eyelids grew heavier.

Vala was slipping further and further into the abyss of sleep herself when an unwelcome flash from her nightmare attacked her and paralyzed her with fear. There were no images, only the fear and panic, and the cold, the cold was always present. She tried to regulate her breathing and consciously unclench her body but she only got more worked up. She was too cold. Vala shifted and pulled the comforter higher.

"You still cold?" Daniel mumbled sleepily. Vala sat up and looked at him, biting her bottom lip with anxiety, wondering if she had the courage to ask for what she needed. Another brief flash, this time of glowing eyes, infused her with the necessary courage.

"Take off your shirt." she ordered him and Daniel forced his eyes wide open to see her.

"What?" he asked with a very furrowed brow, propping himself up on his elbows. "Why?"

Vala looked away and bit her lip again, hating how weak she knew she'd sound.

"I'm cold." she said simply.

"So you want my shirt? I can get you a sweatshirt, that'd keep you warmer." he said and watched in confusion as her eyes slammed shut with frustration.

"No, I - " Vala pursed her lips and took a deep breath, laying a cold hand on the warm skin of his stomach. "I just need to feel warm."

She cursed herself for the words and especially her pathetic tone and then she cursed herself doubly when Daniel's eyes filled with worry.

"N-Nevermind." she mumbled, sinking back down on the bed. Daniel sat up fully and Vala believed for a crushing moment that he was leaving. She was wrong, he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled the item over his head, tossing it to the floor and lying back down on the bed with open arms. Vala watched him in amazement before gathering her wits.

Daniel waited for Vala to come back into his arms but she sat up instead. Her hands pulled up her long-sleeved shirt and he prayed to anyone who would listen that she was wearing a bra underneath. Thankfully, although she wasn't wearing a bra, she  _was_  wearing a thin camisole. Vala bunched the bottom of the camisole under her breasts and then finally returned to the confines of Daniel's arms, laying her head on his chest this time.

As soon as their bodies met, Vala's chill was conquered. The steady beating of his heart under her cheek brought peace to her own and inhaling his natural scent quieted the runaway thoughts in her head. She turned her head to press a loving kiss to his chest and settled again as Daniel covered them with the comforter. She threw a leg over his and wrapped her arm around his stomach. Daniel felt a knot form in his throat when she laid herself on top of him, finally feeling as if she was real and here with him. The rush of emotions this woman could stir up in him was awesome and terrifying, he ached to tell her but this was hardly the time.

When Vala heard Daniel's heart beat changed from a steady thumping to a wild rhythm, she lifted her head and brought her hand to his face. His eyes were closed but he couldn't possibly be sleeping.

"Daniel? What's wrong?" she asked quickly. His eyes opened but he seemed to be worlds away.

"I love you." he whispered in awe before widening his eyes with terror as his brain caught up to his mouth. Vala was stiff above him, eyes most likely as wide as his.

"What?" she breathed out. Daniel licked his lips, there was no point in denying it, not when he wanted it to be out.

"I love you," he repeated, fully in touch with all his faculties this time "I just…needed to say that…that I love you…because I – I do." he let out a short laugh when his rambling finally stopped.

"I don't – I don't expect you to say anything, it's okay." he assured her quickly when she stayed silent. She didn't speak, instead she shimmied herself up to him and kissed him sweetly. Daniel was somewhat disappointed but too overjoyed that she had kissed him instead of running away to really notice. He tangled his fingers in her thick hair and deepened the kiss.

Vala was the one to push away a few moments later. She pressed a kiss to his right cheekbone before doing the same on the other side. When he opened his eyes after the last kiss, she kept his gaze.

"I love you." she said strongly, as if answering a question. His eyes widened and before she could say another word, Daniel had flipped them over, pushing her to her back and attacking her with his lips. He properly devoured her and she turned to jelly under his ministrations. When he finally relented, he brushed his lips against her neck while she caught her breath. Her hand came to rest in his hair and she hummed her contentment.

He was getting her very excited but the fatigue from the emotional turmoil of the night was catching up with her and her eyelids were drooping with sleep more than with pleasure. Daniel caught on quickly when her hand went slack in his hair and he pulled away with a loving smile. He pulled Vala up to properly rest her head on the pillow, grinning when he saw her smiling up at him sleepily.

"We need to get some sleep." he told her. She nodded slowly, watching him through barely open eyes as he fixed the comforter around them. Daniel reached down and pulled the hem of her camisole to bare her stomach again and laid himself down on his side beside her. He rested his head on the pillow, beside hers, tucking her shoulder under his chin. He then gathered her in his arms and trapped her with one leg, grinning when she used her other leg to trap him back.

"Goodnight, Vala." he murmured. She only hummed her response as sleep overtook her and he wasted no time in joining her. His last thought was that his pillows would finally smell like strawberry shampoo.

 


	9. Devotion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes from original posting: "This chapter deals with the issue of TORTURE and RAPE, if this offends you or you are sensitive to that kind of material, PLEASE don't read it!"
> 
> Aka, there be breakdowns ahead.

The morning was quiet and peaceful but Daniel was torn suddenly out of sleep with the disturbing feeling that something was off. He stayed frozen in bed, staring at the ceiling until the events of the night came rushing back to him.

Vala.

He turned his head quickly to the side and the rest of his body followed when he encountered only empty space on the bed beside him. Daniel reached a hand out to feel the sheets but they were already cold, Vala had left some time ago. The scenes his mind had captured of her during the night – when she'd entered his bedroom and he'd led her to his bed, when she'd begged for warmth and he'd told her he loved her – were playing on a continuous loop as he tried to find a reason for her absence. Finding none, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and sprang to the door, throwing it open and jumping back when a startled Vala appeared behind it. Her hand hung in the air where she'd been reaching for the handle and her eyes were wide with surprise.

Immediately, Daniel felt silly for his unmerited concern and he granted her a shy smile as he stepped away from the entrance. She eyed him curiously for a moment but entered the room with a wry grin of her own.

"Good morning." she said simply, her amused eyes taking in his disheveled appearance. From the messy hair to his very casual dress, from his morning stubble to his dazed eyes, he was an entrancing sight. A  _quiet_  but entrancing sight.

"Ah…good morning." Daniel finally replied. After the relief of seeing her again had faded, something else caught his attention. Vala's hair was wet and was dripping on her shoulders, which were covered by his blue button-down shirt and when his eyes continued to roam downward, he was struck speechless by the sight of her completely bared legs.

"Are you alright, darling?" Vala asked with a smirk, stepping closer to Daniel and placing her hand on his grainy cheek. She watched his eyes flit quickly down her body again and tried not to chuckle as he nodded jerkily. His eyes then returned to hers and he sobered up rapidly.

"Are you?" he asked her seriously. Her eyes flicked to the side before she could prevent it but she willed herself not to lie, he'd promised her she didn't have to anymore.

"I'm much better than last night." she could say honestly. Daniel studied her for a moment before letting a small smile grace his lips.

He stepped closer to her and wrapped a wet strand of her black hair around his finger, toying with it before tucking it behind her ear and stroking the soft skin of her cheek. Vala watched his roaming digit out of the corner of her eye and her tongue instinctively darted out to moisten her lips. The small movement drew Daniel out of his exploration of her skin and he slowly lowered his head, giving her ample time to move away in case what they'd shared last night had been more of a product of the situation than actual desires. Vala noticed his hesitation and smirked again. She reached up her hand and pulled his head swiftly down to her level, pressing her lips to his with enough enthusiasm to erase every doubt from Daniel's mind. Before he had a chance to deepen the kiss, Vala pulled back with a coquettish smile.

"Are you teasing me?" he asked with amused eyes.

"I would never, darling." she swore drolly. He grinned back at her but instead of kissing her again, he seemed to drift off into thought.

"Daniel?" she asked softly. Her voice pierced his internal musings and he raised his eyebrows in question.

"Hmm?" he hummed.

"You left for a moment." she informed him and he blessed her with the sweetest smile she'd ever seen.

"I was just thinking about last night." he replied with warm eyes. Vala frowned, most of her memories of last night were not pleasant but before she had a chance to protest Daniel continued softly. "I was just thinking about how…completely shocked and mortified I was when I realized what I'd blurted out."

Vala's eyes were confused.

"When I blurted out that I love you." he clarified softly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her closer to him when her eyes flashed with pain and doubt. " _And_  I was thinking about how completely normal the phrase sounds this morning in comparison."

Vala stilled in his arms and peered up at him cautiously.

"I love you." he said simply but sincerely and Vala fought hard to contain her smile to manageable levels.

"I love you." Daniel repeated with a grin, determined to get his prize. He wasn't disappointed. With the second uttering of her new favourite words, Vala's megawatt smile was unleashed and she could do nothing to stop it, nor did she want to.

Daniel placed his hands on either cheek and swooped down to capture her lips. This time Vala didn't pull away when his tongue sought entrance to her mouth, in fact she led them both to a more advantageous position. Vala pushed Daniel back slowly until the back of his legs hit the mattress of his bed and his lips were ripped away as he lost his balance and sat down clumsily. Vala smiled at him seductively and followed him, climbing onto his legs and taking a seat on his lap. Daniel sat up properly and brought the length of their torsos in complete contact. She inched herself closer and moved to kiss him again but the wondrous heat created by their bodies pitched him into a very dark memory of his encounter with the late Qetesh.

_I'm useful to him but he seems to take a perverse pleasure in violating this body. Most of the time, I'm not even present for the activities._

The metallic voice of the Goa'uld was screaming in his mind and he was left shaken when it passed. Vala paused on his lap and watched him curiously.

"What's wrong?" she asked him in concern, placing a delicate hand along his jaw. Daniel looked up at her and tried to smile weakly.

"Nothing, sorry." he said dismissively and reached a hand up to guide her back to him but was struck again by that disgusting voice, shredding his insides with horror.

_I push the host to the forefront. Ba'al likes live victims, he likes to hear them scream._

"Daniel, you're worrying me." Vala said anxiously as his face turned ashen.

"I…" Daniel uttered with a tight throat "I…when Qetesh came to…see me…in the cell…" he began, hating himself for making her tense up. "When she came…she said some things about…Ba'al…about what he-"

Vala silenced him by pressing her fingers to his lips before shaking her head with light eyes.

"She lied." she said firmly and his heart momentarily collapsed with relief. Daniel let out a huge breath and kissed the fingers still at his lips. He gazed up at her face and was disturbed to see dark shadows in her eyes that hadn't been there before.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly, delicately, trying to assure her without words that the truth was alright.

"She lied to you, Daniel." she repeated firmly "That's what she did, she lied to hurt people." Daniel nodded.

"I would still love you, Vala, if she hadn't been lying." he promised her quietly "It wouldn't have made any difference to me, I want you to know that." She smiled briefly.

"But she  _was_  lying." she said again.

"I'm glad she was." he murmured softly.

"You know, it really does seem easier in the morning." she mused.

"The memories?" Daniel asked but Vala shook her head.

"No, telling you I love you." she replied with a cheeky grin. Daniel chuckled warmly and pulled her into his arms to hold her, trying hard to ignore the way she'd bulldozed him off the topic. His large hands moved slowly over her back and he could feel her lips leaving feather-light kisses along his neck when the phone rang and interrupted the momentary quiet of the morning. Daniel let out a small sigh but pushed Vala back gently.

"That'll be the guys." he told her as she pouted "They'll be on their way over soon, I need to get ready."

"I know it was my idea but must we go so early?" Vala pouted. Daniel looked up at her warmly, ignoring the phone and casting a glance to his alarm clock.

"Vala, it's almost 10:30, 'early' passed us about three hours ago." he informed her with dancing eyes. "Besides, we'll need the time if you want to go on all the rides."

That perked her up and after a last, powerful kiss, she slipped herself off his lap and went to the guest room to find her bags and get dressed, leaving Daniel to collect himself in his room. He took a few deep breaths and went to find his phone to call the guys back. As he dialed Jack's cell he thought this fair might just be a idea after all.

* * *

This was without a doubt the worst idea she'd ever come upon in her entire life. What had possessed her to believe that she'd be blissfully distracted by the throngs of loud people and flashing lights? How could she not have guessed that this kind of setting would make her heart seize with despair every few steps? That her brow would shine with a layer of perspiration she'd blamed on the sun but which actually stemmed from the tight control she had to keep on her body to make sure the others didn't catch on? That seeing a crowd roughly the size of the village Qetesh had annihilated might make her want to throw herself to the ground and scream her lungs out until she lost consciousness?

"…hot dog?" a voiced interrupted her silent conflict. Daniel was holding the mentioned food item in front of her face but her stomach churned at the sight.

"No, thank you." she smiled lightly and Daniel frowned. It wasn't often that Vala Mal Doran wasn't hungry.

Since they'd arrived at the park, Vala had seemed more and more distant. He'd been about to ask her about it when she'd pointed out the next ride she wanted to go on. She was talking and smiling but her hand was clutching his with more force than she probably realized and she was getting more and more on edge. It disturbed Daniel to see her try to hide whatever distress she was feeling but if she was making such an effort to conceal it now, when just this morning she'd been honest with him, he figured she must have a good reason. Besides, the Fair wasn't exactly the ideal setting for a private and potentially painful conversation.

"That last ride might have left me a  _tad_  bit queasier than I'd previously mentioned." she fibbed convincingly, certain that her pallor would reflect nausea. Her lie had the desired effect of turning his look of skepticism into a look of remorse.

"Oh…I'm sorry I really should have warned you before we got on it." he apologized but she waved him off.

"Don't be silly, I absolutely loved it!" she enthused "I'll just wait a moment or two before trying to ingest anything."

"Okay." he smiled warmly.

"Mommy, can I have cotton candy?" the soprano voice of a young boy asked behind her.

"Well, I think we should stick to the less nauseating rides from now on, there are much more exciting ones than those anyway. We should go on some rollercoasters, I'm sure you'd love those." Daniel remarked.

"Mark, sweetie, you had some yesterday." a woman, the mother presumably, answered with moderate amount of patience in her voice. "Today you got a toy, that was the deal, remember?"

"Vala?" Daniel vied for her attention and she shook herself out of her eavesdropping, planting a smile on her face but internally screaming at the idea of spending more time in this hell.

"Yes, those ones run on the tracks at fantastic velocities, don't they?" she asked somewhat distractedly. He nodded and launched into a recounting of the first time he'd ever ridden one but Vala missed most of the speech as the little boy behind her caught her attention with a loud shriek.

"No! I want some now!" his tearful voice screamed as his mother tried unsuccessfully to quiet him. Vala turned slowly, no longer in control of her body, not even able to respond to Daniel who was calling her name.

_Please don't, don't hurt them._

"No! No!" the boy cried as his mother tried to get him to calm down.

_Kill them, kill the boys._

"No!" the sight of his red, tearstained face knocked the air right out of Vala's lungs and her gulping gasp earned her the little boy's attention. His red, puffy eyes pierced through her heart effortlessly like a finely sharpened sword.

_Please kill them._

The tear falling from the boy's chin was the last thing Vala saw before she willingly fell into the darkness.

* * *

Dr. Lam took a third blood pressure reading and carefully perused the CAT scans again before finally declaring Vala to be healthy. She'd awoken a few minutes after she'd fallen at the fair actually but she hadn't said a word since, not a single sound had crossed her lips in the last hour and despite Dr. Lam's reassurances, no member of SG-1 felt confident that Vala was alright.

She'd simply fainted apparently, maybe because of the sun or the adrenaline rush from the rides. Whatever had really happened, Vala was neither confirming nor denying anything, she only stared forward dully, her eyes completely blank.

"Look, I know this isn't normal for her but what did you expect?" Dr. Lam questioned them shortly. "She's got a few appointments with Dr. Mackenzie lined up, I'm sure things will be better afterwards. Until then, expect her to go through little 'episodes' like this. Quite frankly, after everything she's been through, I was expecting to have sedated her and admitted her into a psychiatric facility by now."

Daniel let out a worried breath and took in Vala's almost absent expression.

"So what now? Does she have to stay here?" he asked the doctor.

"No, she can go. But I'd prefer that you keep her on base, just in case she gets worse." Dr. Lam advised, signaling a nurse to bring the wheelchair over to Vala's bed.

Vala's inexpressive eyes slid slowly over to the chair and she seemed to understand its meaning.

"Can I go?" she rasped her first words, causing Daniel to smile with relief.

"Yes, Vala," Dr. Lam said, "you're free to go."

Daniel moved forward to help her off the bed and into the chair, taking a moment to just hold her briefly while he had her in his arms. Nodding their thanks to the Chief Medical Officer, the gang left the infirmary, all heading to Vala's quarters though three members stopped at the door and watched with torn hearts as their friends disappeared into the room.

"I should…probably get back to work on that new piece of technology SG-18 brought back." Sam said softly from her position leaning against the wall.

"Yeah, and I've got lots of paperwork…to catch up on." Cam said.

"As have I." Teal'c intoned.

As one, all three teammates slid to the floor and remained seated there for quite some time.

* * *

"There you go." Daniel said as he pulled the comforter up to Vala's shoulders. He'd changed her into sweat pants and a tank top and had gotten her into bed where she now lay on her side, staring quietly at the wall but with at least somewhat more expression than before.

He looked at her still form on the bed and his heart ached with frustration and a great sense of injustice that so much pain could be thrust onto a single person. He couldn't leave the room, his feet wouldn't let him and he couldn't stay here just watching her from across the room so he did the only thing his heart could agree on.

"Vala," he said softly to keep from startling her, "I'm going to join you, okay?"

He wasn't really expecting a response but a fleeting moment of joy soared through him when she turned her head slightly and nodded before moving back to her original position. Daniel made quick work of removing his boots, socks and pants before joining Vala under the blankets. He spooned her form from behind and wrapped his arm snugly around her waist, delighting in the feel of her hand turning and holding his loosely. He watched her eyes close deliberately and tucked his face in her hair, wanting to be as close to her as possible.

"I love you, Vala." he whispered in the silence.

Vala's eyes shot open and her numb stupor lifted like a curtain, replaced by a livid terror. She twisted roughly in his arms and shoved Daniel away with all her strength.

"No!" she yelled as she scrambled out of the bed and turned to face him with a scolding finger.

"Ow." Daniel exclaimed painfully as he rubbed his chest where she'd hit him. "What?"

"You don't." Vala informed him firmly with an irate glare.

"What?" he repeated incredulously "Vala, what are you talking about? Of course I do."

That only made her angrier.

"No you don't, Daniel!" she repeated icily, shaking her head with determination. "You don't love me, Daniel. I won't let you."

"Vala, calm down." Daniel tried to soothe her as he followed her off the bed. She quickly moved away as soon as she saw his intentions, keeping her extended arm between them.

"I won't let you, Daniel, I forbid you." she repeated with fury.

"Why – why would you…" Daniel gaped with incomprehension. "Why don't you want me to love you?"

Her face warped into a pained expression at his question and she swallowed thickly before speaking again.

"Because you're not like  _me_ , Daniel." she said, shaking her head to emphasize her point. "I don't want you to be _tainted_ , I won't  _let_   _you_  get tainted by me…ruined...I won't!"

Daniel felt his heart collapse with anguish as he remembered Dr. Lam's warning about more 'episodes'. He squeezed his eyes shut and gave himself a moment to try to dim the intensity of his grief before attempting to deal with her again.

"Stop that," she ordered him quietly "I'm not crazy."

His eyes sought hers and sure enough she seemed to actually be functioning clearly. He frowned at her in confusion.

"Then why- "

"Because I'm a  _murderer_ ,  _Daniel_." she spat with a condescending tone.

"No, you're not." he replied firmly "You had no control over your body, Vala, you didn't kill anyone."

Vala pierced through him with a chilling gaze and advanced upon him, forcing him backward.

"Oh yes I did." she told him with cold eyes. "I watched as her guards dragged in family, after family, after family. I watched as she killed them, one by one."

"Exactly!" Daniel broke through forcefully. " _She_  killed them, not you!"

" _I'm_  the one who killed the boys,  _Daniel_!" she ground out wildly, furious that he didn't believe her. " _I_  did that, all by myself!"

"What are you talking about?" he shot back.

"She was going to torture the boys, she'd killed their parents, she was going to torture the boys." she recounted softly before hardening her voice and clenching her fists "So I begged her to kill them, I  _begged_ her to shoot them where they stood!"

Daniel's stomach was twisted into knots as he listened to her.

"Vala," he said softly, trying to calm her down "you were trying to  _save_  them from horrible pain and anguish."

Vala turned on her heels, shrieking with the frustration of his acceptance, she turned back with a different tactic.

"She didn't lie, Daniel!" she challenged him and he frowned as he tried to place the new topic.

" _Qetesh_ …didn't lie to you,  _darling_ , I did." she repeated viciously, staring him down. Daniel let himself lean weakly against the desk behind him, understanding the terrible implications of her revelation.

"Vala…I'm so - "

"Or is that what you want?" she antagonized him again, watching victoriously as his eyes widened in horror "Is that what you want, Daniel?"

Hearing her atrocious words, Daniel felt sick to his stomach.

"You want to  _love_  Ba'al's throw-aways?" she mocked him " _Do you_? You want to  _love_ his play-thing? You want his leftovers,  _darling_?" she shot the words cruelly as her eyes began to burn traitorously with hot tears.

"You want to see me bleed too?" she shrieked at him with her twisted words. "YOU WANT TO MAKE ME  _SCREAM_ TOO, DANIEL?"

"ENOUGH!" he shouted back vehemently, launching himself from the desk to cup her head firmly within his hands.

"Enough." he repeated more quietly but just as strongly while she clawed at his hands. Daniel shoved her arms away and crushed Vala to his chest.

"Enough." he said again, wincing as she beat wildly against his ribs with her fists, and twisting when she tried to knee him in the groin.

"No!" she screeched against his chest, kicking at his shins when he wouldn't let her go. "I won't let you! You can't love me! Get away!"

Daniel lost track of time as he held on to her with an iron grip, not letting her attacks affect his embrace for a moment. Eventually she stopped hitting him and began to tremble, still repeating her litany of protests in murmured complaints and, in time the front of his t-shirt became soaked with the outpouring of a sorrow so deep that even Vala, despite her many dubious skills and expertise in emotional compartmentalizing, couldn't hide from. Though his arms grew tired and he felt completely drained, Daniel still didn't move. He refused to let her go. Finally, when she ran out of tears, she stopped making sounds of any kind and simply let herself slump in his arms.

"I'm sorry." Vala whispered almost inaudibly against him.

"Don't be," his lips murmured against her forehead, "you've done nothing wrong."

Vala let out a hushed scoff at that. "I think the bruises you'll have in the morning will prove otherwise." Daniel smiled and pressed his quirked lips to her brow.

"Okay, you can make it up to me for those." he conceded with a lighter heart "But that's all you have to feel responsible for, understand?"

Vala didn't bother answering him and he didn't really expect her to. Instead, Vala hesitantly raised her arms and wrapped them around him. Daniel tightened his hold on her in response and felt a shudder pass through her body.

"Are you cold?" he asked quietly, both of them aware that he wasn't referring to the room temperature. She was still for a moment but finally nodded once against his chest.

Daniel bent his head to press a warm kiss to her temple before backing up a few inches and removing his wet t-shirt. Vala watched him through tired eyes and didn't bat an eyelash when his hands moved slowly to the hem of her tank top, pulling it off her body with ease. She wasn't wearing anything underneath this time but it didn't matter, no part of this moment was sexual in the least. He bent down to remove her sweatpants, leaving them both in their underpants, and then he tucked them both back into bed. They were quiet, entwined together, for a long time before Vala spoke.

"Daniel, I…I didn't mean…" she stuttered before clearing her throat and swallowing thickly against her apprehension, her psychotic tirade couldn't have impressed him much. Daniel turned the table on her and cut _her_  off for once.

"I love you, Vala" he said with considerable passion and a gentle smile "and I'm going to  _keep_  loving you whether you approve or not. You have no say in the matter."

A small grin touched her lips but it disappeared under the heavy weight of fatigue.

"I love you too, Daniel." she whispered earnestly. Daniel pulled her up against him and kissed her forehead.

"I know." he whispered back.

Vala's breathing evened out and she finally succumbed to sleep. Daniel laid beside her, watching her with a heavy heart until an idea struck him. He waited until he was absolutely certain Vala was deeply asleep before carefully extracting himself from her arms and legs and leaving the bed quietly. He got dressed quickly and tiptoed to the door, casting her sleeping form a last loving glance before he slipped outside the room.

"Daniel." a voice behind him made him jump and he closed the door quietly before taking a look around.

Sam was getting up from the floor, her eyes were bloodshot; Cameron was also getting up, other than his ashen pallor he seemed fine. Teal'c was already standing but Daniel noticed his tense posture and the white powder on his knuckles that he figured would match the new crack in the wall beside him.

"Guys," he greeted them quietly, "what are you doing here?"

"We just…forgot to leave." Cameron said lamely and Daniel let it go.

"How is she?" Sam asked.

"She's sleeping." he answered succinctly, if the gang had been standing outside the door the entire time as he suspected they had, they knew exactly how Vala was.

"I need to find Jack." he told them.

"I'm pretty sure he was meeting with General Landry, why?" Cameron replied.

"I need him to clear something for me." he replied with a half-grin before heading for the General's office to call in a favour.

* * *

"Where are the tongs?" Sam asked the men as they placed more firewood in the pit.

"What tongs?" Cameron asked as he spotted Daniel and Vala joining them on Cheyenne Mountain's surface.

"The tongs we'll need to take out the pieces of Qetesh's remains." Sam explained, still searching the area.

"We won't need tongs, Carter." Jack said dismissively.

"Yes, sir, we will. We can't just dump out the contents of the canister into the fire, the blood will extinguish the flames." Sam explained and grew concerned when twin grins blossomed on the guys' faces.

" _That_  is why we brought lighter fluid." Cameron said perkily, shaking an empty can for demonstration.

"Lighter– …how much did you pour on there?" she asked with concern. Jack looked at Cameron and they both shrugged nonchalantly.

"I don't know, one can…maybe three." Jack said innocently.

"Are you planning on taking the whole forest with us?" Daniel asked wryly, wrapping a protective arm around Vala's waist.

"Daniel, you have no instinct for the dramatic flair." Jack accused him. "This is an awesome moment, we need an awesome fire."

As the team continued to bicker about the pros and cons of safety hazards versus symbolism, Vala took a deep breath and basked in the feeling of belonging emanating from every person on this mountaintop. She'd never had that before; people who cared for her, trusted her, believed in her, and it was a heady feeling. She was glad Daniel had arrange this little ceremony before her first appointment with the psychiatrist, she wasn't looking forward to the sessions but she had a feeling they'd be easier to bear after this.

Daniel hands suddenly appeared on her arms effectively snapping her out of her reverie and pulling her behind him. She shot him a questioning glance.

"Um, Jack's going to light the fire now." he explained, concerned about her proximity to the bonfire.

"I believe it would be wise to wait behind the truck." Teal'c intoned and Jack threw him a glare.

"Oh come on, T, it's a tiny little campfire." he said as he lowered the branch he'd lit onto the pile of firewood. The flames erupted instantly, rising well above their heads and the intense heat caused Jack and Cameron to pitch themselves away.

"Was it four cans, Mitchell?" Jack asked Cam from the ground. The Colonel seemed a little shaken as he answered.

"It… _might_  have been four, sir, yes." he agreed as they got back up to their feet.

The team watched the flames settle to a more manageable level before turning to Vala. Sam handed her the metal canister that held the pieces of her enemy and she took small steps to reach the fire pit, Daniel was never more than a foot away from her.

Vala unscrewed the top hesitantly, irrationally worried the creature inside would still be intact and waiting to pounce. It wasn't, and when she looked within the can, she saw nothing but blue smears and pieces of symbiote flesh. There was nothing to fear, no more terror. She approached the flames and chucked the remains out of the container, shaking it a few times to make sure to get all the pieces. Then, she handed the can backward to Daniel who handed it off to someone else before stepping behind her and wrapping his arms around her. The rest of the team moved forward and together they watched with satisfaction as one of their enemies was eliminated from their universe for good.

As the fire consumed the chunks of broken snake, Vala broke the comfortable but solemn silence.

"I told her I'd only be happy when I saw her charred body roasting on a nice fire." she said softly but they all heard her. The arms around her tightened gently and she leaned back to accept the embrace.

"And are you?" Daniel asked just as softly.

Vala looked into the fire, but turned her gaze to instead capture the sight of her teammates standing with her.

"I'm getting there." she answered him with a soft smile. He answered her in kind and bent forward to capture her lips in a chaste kiss before turning his attention back to the fire. They were  _all_  finally getting there.

* * *

The end.

 


End file.
